The Elite Forum
The Big Three Plus One => General Chat => Topic started by: SimThreat on October 28, 2008, 01:36:00 am
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Hey guys, I have a new song. It's called Floatin and it's about how when you are faced with losing something or someone you realise how beautiful it is/they are. And then you experience that weird feeling of loss and gain at the same time. A lesson learnt at the expense of losing something valuable to you.
www.myspace.com/K..J.. (http://www.myspace.com/K..J..)
Please let me know what you think.
-K..
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Here are some of my thoughts.
I listen to quite a bit of instrumental music, much of it guitar-based. Your style doesn't quite fit into my typical preferences per se, which is completely fine-- different strokes for different folks. Thus, I can't gush about how much I love the track, but I will say that it sounds good for what you were going for-- I can see it fitting in with your motif.
You should have perhaps not told us what the theme was... instead, maybe telling us there is a theme and try to get us to tell you what we think it is. This could act as a measuring stick to determine if your music is evoking the feelings you want it to. Perhaps no one would come up with the exact answer of "losing something important but gaining valuable perspective", but perhaps they would come up with something close (or something far away). For instance, I pretended to not know the theme, then thought of the words pensive, relaxed, and content to describe the piece. These are things that would fall into the category of being pretty close to your desired effect.
My musical critique is this, and again, this is coming from someone whose favorite type of music is instrumental. You seem to be trying to account for not having any vocals by making your guitar almost "sing". In fact, I could very strongly imagine someone singing the exact part your guitar plays. Although this does indicate your guitar work sounds smooth (quality slides or pull/hammers), I'd like to see you treat the guitar as more of its own beast. Use it to explore areas the voice cannot rather than just serve as a neat-sounding replacement for them. I'll give an example of this (but in an opposite sense-- you'll see what I mean). Take the band Sigur Ros, they are an instrumentally-focused band, but they have a singer. However, the voice of the singer is used in such an atypical way that many times, you'd confuse it for just another inventive instrument. This type of convention-breaking musicianship is, in part, what can help separate good artists from great.
This leads to my other (very related) critique, which is: don't feel so shackled by traditional song structure. I only listened once so don't take this summary as literal, but I got a strong sense of "ABAB--bridge--AB--ending" from the song (actual pattern may differ-- I'm just making a general point). Again, you can break free from this type of thing.
Those are just my two cents as you requested. Others or you may feel differently, and that's alright by me!
By the way, what would your reaction have been had I posted the same picture as I did in the other thread (as a joke)? I was considering doing it first, then posting this thoughtful review after joke was responded to, but I figured you might go off the deep end =P
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Went from standard B level produced weather channel music to some kind of porn groove... though I think with a fully mastered sound it would sound like A level weather channel dream-core.
At the very start I felt like I was about to hear Chad Kroeger start singing, and then it kind of felt like a guitar solo of Keith Urban or Brad Paisley which somehow warped to something like Pink Floyd or Oasis.
Anyways, all these labels obviously aren't what you're looking for..
I just feel like the song didn't really take me on a journey, rather it took me to a place. A nice place, like a grassy farmland at my cottage where I can sit for an hour and just think. I didn't find it inspiring, but I found it quite nice.
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I like your opening phrase - sounds pretty country to me! Like completely with the style, hehe. A bit TOO many grace notes, though. This piano bit is a nice buildup, though I didn't like the last few notes of it tbh. The next licks don't seem to fit as well as the first, as Youse said more of a vocal melody. I definitely get your feel when it went into the solo, but I'd definitely take the drums back so it felt more half-tempo here. (rofl satriani lick). I think it went back into your main phrase sound pretty nicely at the end of it. Like I said, woulda liked the first part a better half-tempo and drum buildup back to your main phrase. I also woulda liked to hear SOMETHING else at the end of it.
I've got to agree with what Youse said about instrumental music structure in general, I try never to really designate many "verse" "chorus" bits in my writing, but I think when you're limited to certain pieces for recording and playing, its hard to branch out without a real drummer/bassist/keyboard player etc.
Goose, I think that the song takes you to a place too, a nostalgic piece really, but if it doesn't relate to something right away, I guess it wouldn't take you anywhere.
Anyway, I don't think only saying "good job" ever helped anybody, so those are my ideas up there. I did like it though!
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Now tell me you want it from 'everyone.' What about those people who thought they had something to say/do but held back in fear. C'mon now, I'm not the only one guilty of this. You trying to look innocent there.
Unless youse got it.
Seriously, what do you mean you like it at the end of your post? Our opinions or your score? And by the reviews I don't need to listen to the song. At least it takes us somewhere other than 'only' butterflies when we mention a river and no crying a few sentences ealier.
Good job for showing us something because you know how many other good things were probably held back in life? I could like what you're 'trying' to do equally.
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so Greatmax, you took those mushrooms and never got out of the freakshow?
Even Shawn had more to say when he wasnt bannend [lol], and he mainly used simleys. Just imagine.
You actually believe that whatever you say makes sense? because im sure that we all here dont understand a word you are saying.
get your freakin head examined lol
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anyway, back to topic.
Karl, I really would like to say lots of stuff since im musician as well etc etc, BUT the main problem is I never made instrumental music like that. So the feeling I get when listening to it, is mainly: "gimme vocals! gimme vocals!" but that is really worthless to say so im kinda out of anything to say quickly. That doesnt say anything about the quality of the music, its just hard to judge for me.
Something I can talk about however, is your work as a producer. And I must say you've made a big deal of improvement there. Better drums, piano's, your guitar sound was overall better produced, = well done!
The less MIDI feeling you get, the better, and compared to your earlier works I think you did an awesome job. Better stereo image, better mixdown. though imo the mixdown could have been a bit better still. I dont know if you used any compressors yourself, I know the media player from Myspace has a strong compressor/converter, which makes it sound better as a whole package and that for sure has a good touch to the overall feeling of the song. Last thing: the intro sounded "too fake/MIDI-ish". you could solve that by using better sounds, programming the hits a bit off-rymth (just a tiny tiny bit), having more samples of a snaredrum (like tiny variations of it) and play around with velocity changes throughout every hit of the drums. but again...major improvement when it comes to producing. Its just the music itself that is hard for me make any comments on.
So...keep it up (https://forums.the-elite.net/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ezboard.com%2Fintl%2Faenglish%2Fimages%2Femoticons%2Fhappy.gif&hash=7b9cd982f9a41f9aefcd7ea74682d5f1e4caf4c6)
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have a listen to some stuff thats totally unconventional and out-there (sonic youth, captain beefheart, velvet underground, godspeed you black emperor), and it might help free you up from landing on some predictable and cliche patterns. i did enjoy most of this recording but I think a bit of an edge could help make your music more interesting
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I don't think it will be a big hit until you let Basshunter do a remix of it.
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(https://forums.the-elite.net/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ezboard.com%2Fintl%2Faenglish%2Fimages%2Femoticons%2Flaugh.gif&hash=657f1346088ce2081c398c7379c3a47e4cf5861b) @ Goose!
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Thanks HEAPS for your critiques guys, I really appreciate.
Firstly, about the song structure. I agree with you guys completely, it's very A-B-A-B structed. In fact that was my intention. I want to become good at create mainstream structures. All of my other songs don't follow any real structure so I have learnt a lot from attempting a different route. In the real world more people prefer an A-B-A-B structured song. I think the main reason that may be a burden in this case was because the music was intended to be really mellow and nothing was designed to really catch attention.
I changed the drums in the breakdown to blend in more with the feel.
Interestingly, I've gotten some great comments from people who didn't really like any of my other songs. Also most people that enjoyed my other songs enjoyed this one less. I can understand this though because I was trying to attract a different audience.
Thanks again for your advice.
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you're whalecum!