The Elite Forum

Nonsense Time => FFA => Topic started by: SimThreat on January 23, 2009, 04:25:00 am

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: SimThreat on January 23, 2009, 04:25:00 am

Speaking of dicks getting trapped in things, the only thing Ryan could get his dick trapped in is a guys mouth.

Dude, you need to hook up with a chick. I was 19 when I first got some tongue actions, 2 weeks later I had a gf, 6 weeks later I was laid. Once you get past that first barrier it's smooth sailing. Mind you, if you're getting upset because you're capped at 20 posts per day and you're having a whinge because you can't take responsibility for being a fuckwit on the boards, you probably won't get laid.

Accepting responsibility is something you need to learn, or you'll be a bitch virgin when you're 25.  

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: RWG on January 23, 2009, 04:39:00 am

I pick the latter.

Now remove my post count.

But seriously, what's with all this girl advice being thrown at me right now? Have you never stopped to think that maybe I am happy being a 19 year old student on academic probation who has 0 source of income, spends the $20 his mommy gives him weekly on lottery tickets, sleeps nightly from 6am-2pm and essentially does nothing other than watch hockey and dump sperm on his floor every day?

Because to be honest, I'm kind of happy with that.

But regardless, where do you suggest I get this first hook up? Keep in mind I want my first kiss to be with a girl I really really like and have it be really special and meaningful. Something like a girl I send an entire day with becoming good friends and then capping off the night by making out by a frozen river while the snowflakes fall around us would be ideal.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: SimThreat on January 23, 2009, 04:47:00 am

Oh, you're happy with that situation? Don't worry about it then, if you're happy with the situation you'll be stuck with it forever. Have fun with that.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: RWG on January 23, 2009, 04:49:00 am

Erm, so happiness leads to idleness? Are you telling me not to ever be truly happy until I've realized my full potential?


But seriously, why do you think I need to go out and make out with a girl so badly?

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: SimThreat on January 23, 2009, 05:09:00 am

You don't need to, but you should WANT to. You're a fucking male, your designed to want to fuck females. To sit there and say you're happy not doing that is a fucking lie and you know it.

You post so much about this shit, and then you say you're happy with it? WTF man, way to send mixed signals.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: RWG on January 23, 2009, 05:29:00 am

Firstly, you should know that I do have a good sense of responsible and claim myself to be the reason for my actions. Why am I that failure of a life I described above? Because it is I who makes the decisions to be that. On the boards, I also know I am responsible for my posting cap, but I think Jon and Come are both bigger failures than me at life so I can easily manipulate them into getting what I want. This is quite clearly proving itself wrong.

Secondly, yeah, I want to bang some hot bitches, but I don't want to do the work to get there. My entire life I've never had to put effort into anything. I was always either naturally good enough to get by, or someone would do the work for me. It's been like 2 years since that changed, but I still haven't grown up.

In terms of girls, what this means is that I don't want to go out and talk to random girls, get rejected 100s of times, have to deal with ugly bitches and take them on dates. I just want to magically find a beautiful girl I can love and share the joy of love with, and to be honest, I still believe that it's going to happen. Is this a bad belief to have? Possibly, but how am I to know? I want my first girl, first kiss, first sex to be special. I don't want that shit to happen at 4am drunk off jello shooters in a dirty crackhouse floor.

Also note that I'm extremely judgmental and quite fearful of commitment. When I see a girl who might be attractive, or a random girl starts talking to me, I honestly start thinking about whether or not I could be in a longterm relationship with them. Part of the reason I don't talk to more girls is because I am too worried that I would not enjoy myself in a longterm relationship with them.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: Soft-Hedwig on January 23, 2009, 06:47:00 am

"You're a fucking male, your designed to want to fuck females."
hah

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: RWG on January 23, 2009, 06:58:00 am

Good catch durk. Karl (I believe) is atheist. By saying people are "designed" it implies a designer (God) and by saying males are designed to fuck females, he is implying that homosexuals are not acceptable (like religion.) In other words, it appears Karl is as confused spiritually as I am sexually. Oh well. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: Wouter Jansen on January 23, 2009, 08:07:00 am

a designer (din mor) she made you the bitch you are.

its more like its in our nature to drool over hot female species. but sometimes it burns. your tongue. besides, even many females appreciate the beauty of the female body.

also don't pretend like there's only 2 ways to go. there's also a-sexuality.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: SimThreat on January 23, 2009, 11:24:00 am

Buildings are designed not to fall down. A few of them fall down, but that doesn't change the intention.

 

You're a little bitch ryan, if you ever take words out of my mouth again I will rape your mum. Here's the heads up, you have no idea what I'm trying to imply so give up trying.

 

To say I don't think gays are acceptable is an insult to me (as I have gays friends). If males weren't designed to fuck females the human race would not exist. It is my opinion that males on the most part are supposed to procreate (and almost every gay would agree too), but that does not make gays unacceptable. And designed does mean a designer, and in this case the designer is the laws of the universe. I don't believe in your mainstream god. I believe in energy. I don't understand why the universe is here, and until a decent idea is presented I won't have an opinion on that.

I don't give a fuck what religion you believe in, but don't say I'm implying the same bullshit that you spit out.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: SimThreat on January 23, 2009, 11:26:00 am

p.s I FUCKED YOUR MUM

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: Soft-Hedwig on January 23, 2009, 11:29:00 am

Fair points, Karl, and I agree. Wasn't trying to start a fight lolz

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: Djie on January 23, 2009, 05:37:00 pm

Ryan acts like a 14yo girl sometimes.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: RWG on January 23, 2009, 05:52:00 pm

Sometimes I wish I were one tbh.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: alexaxxem on January 23, 2009, 07:46:00 pm

Well Ryan, here is the only good thing about you getting laid. When girls are 17 they don't care how great you are at it, as long as they get some, but you are getting to the age where women don't want to have sex, they want to fuck. So you have to work up your skill level so your not equivalent to a dead seal. Also, a good kisser is a turn on, so you need to learn that as well about the do's and dont's. I dont lust for it every day beacause I am too happy with my life, but I have had it multiple of multiple of times. But like I said AND WILL ALWAYS STAND BY THIS, Instruments are better cunt

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: wishiwasfamous on January 23, 2009, 10:28:00 pm

I prefer to call myself asexual: A sexual MACHINE!!!

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: the Blueline Goddess on January 24, 2009, 03:16:00 am

wiff wins the thread, the rest of you can go home now.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: RWG on January 24, 2009, 03:32:00 am

TITS or GTFO

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: SimThreat on January 24, 2009, 07:27:00 am

Blueline goddess, if that is even your real name, this isn't a competition. Why you so nasty?

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: Smit on January 28, 2009, 06:49:00 am

Hahahaha. This thread delivers Karl

Karl > Ryan.

Cannot believe Ryan is actually bothering wasting posts in this thread when he has way more important things to attend too in the GE thread.

It is not like he has anything to defend or something..

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: RWG on January 28, 2009, 01:07:00 pm

Erm, what?

Do you really think I need 20 posts day for the GE tournament?

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: Matis on January 28, 2009, 05:57:00 pm

well your waiting for your "first kiss" to be special. You're probably going to mess it up somehow by waiting this long. Also while your doing nothing and jerking it on your floor getting allowance from your mommy, the only kinda of girls you are going to get are immature ones. You should grow up a little and you'll find what your looking for. Hopefully that is before your 25.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: RWG on January 28, 2009, 06:02:00 pm

er, I specifically want immature girls who are obsessed with the Jonas Brothers and run away from their parent's houses to big dance parties downtown and such. Immature girls are much more fun to be around.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: RWG on January 28, 2009, 06:07:00 pm

And why would waiting long make me mess up that kiss? It's not like if I had done it earlier I would have done it perfectly either.

(fuck no more editing in FFA)

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: Matis on January 28, 2009, 07:25:00 pm

you dont know what immature girls are. they are bitches and are confused about everything, you "think" they are more fun but seems to me your thinking like one of them.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: RWG on January 28, 2009, 07:32:00 pm

I do think like an immature girl...

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: Wody on January 28, 2009, 09:20:00 pm

just go out with your buddies who have gotten laid and let them guide your cock. i dont know quit trying to make it all special,in the end when you finally do get a kiss and proceed to fucking your gonna look back at and say what fuck up i was this wasnt even worth it. your going to think of how stupid it was to try to preserve your self for the right girl and make it special. Your going to be like "wow that was dumb" im not even kidding. and the first time you fuck your going to suck at it everyone does their first time you gotta get good at it sex to make it awesome. Read kama sutra and watch porn for tips lol. So my advice is to start fucking girls when you have the chance so you become good at sex so when you find a girl that is special you can fucking PLOW HER and she will love your dick. Seriously bro quit fucking around get to business.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: RWG on January 29, 2009, 12:27:00 am

I've tried going out with those friends and all they do is introduce me to girls I don't want to kiss or have sex with, and then they go off kissing and having sex with the more attractive girls.

I've gone 19.5 years of waiting to make it special. If I give up now, I will have wasted 19+ years. I'm pot committed to the situation. It's all or nothing. I really don't care what anyone with experience tells me because I am going to chose to be ignorant and naive. I will do what I want and learn for myself. After all, no one can help me. Only I can help myself.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: Matis on January 29, 2009, 12:45:00 am

well you should give it up now...cause seriously you dont understand the first kiss is special with every girl you meet. You sound like you dont want to help yourself so can't really get anything done and you are thinking really immature about this and thinking more like a girl then a actual girl is. They'd love a first kiss no matter what and probably love the 2nd, 3rd one even more. You can kiss a girl and still have no feelings and make the "kiss" that you want to be special matter still.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: RWG on January 29, 2009, 01:33:00 am

Why are you telling me to give up? Who are you to tell someone to give up on their dreams?

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: Scrambler Fanny on January 29, 2009, 01:54:00 am

this whole topic is a joke! one big fat LOL! (https://forums.the-elite.net/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ezboard.com%2Fintl%2Faenglish%2Fimages%2Femoticons%2Fsmile.gif&hash=1adea417e08e9042f9ce1a5426616bf29f2ca20e)

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: Matis on January 29, 2009, 02:20:00 am

if you consider saving a first kiss a dream then your pretty messed up. and congratulations at failing life.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: RWG on January 29, 2009, 02:24:00 am

Maybe I'm just a stronger person with more determination and discipline than you.

Honestly, we used to be good buddies. What made you change?

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: Wouter Jansen on January 29, 2009, 05:06:00 am

where did your GE determination go? (https://forums.the-elite.net/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ezboard.com%2Fintl%2Faenglish%2Fimages%2Femoticons%2Ftongue.gif&hash=7cfc888ebd66cf455a55fd5e124ee8267da91148) see where it left you? with din mor and a public Trev spanking :O

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: RWG on January 29, 2009, 05:15:00 am

You should know I'm still playing almost every day. We'll see who's first by the end of our lives.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: Lark on January 29, 2009, 03:42:00 pm

This is easily the saddest topic ever. lol

Matis is right btw, any first kiss(no matter who it is) will be special. You're just are a big pussy who is too afraid to make a move.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: RWG on January 29, 2009, 03:48:00 pm

I don't understand why you're all still giving me advice. It's not like I will ever go out and use it, and you should all be well aware of this after 3 years of the same shit from me.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: SimThreat on January 29, 2009, 06:25:00 pm

Yeah but we can still try and make you feel bad about it.

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: Carathorn on January 29, 2009, 10:43:00 pm

maybe Ryan is just asexual?!?!?!?!11?!11

THINK ABOUT IT

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: Wouter Jansen on January 30, 2009, 04:49:00 am

or maybe he's a sexual zoophile

think about his nickname

Title: Ryan wouldn't call the cops if his dick was TRAPPED IN IT!!!
Post by: TreAKAHotdog on February 04, 2009, 08:53:00 pm

my first kiss fucking SUCKED