The Elite Forum
The Big Three Plus One => General Chat => Topic started by: harambe on January 01, 2017, 02:21:25 am
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The most anticipated thread of the year is here! Here's a look back to at the 2015 and 2016 ones if you want a chuckle, or just see who won the Elite's fortune teller (Merlon) award with the most correct predictions:
2015: https://forums.the-elite.net/index.php?topic=19973.0
2016: https://forums.the-elite.net/index.php?topic=20753.0
2016 was a really successful year for the Elite. With a swarm of new tricks, Kapap2, GP2 & GP3, over a minute cut in PD and multiple insane untieds in GE, a bunch of great streams and meets, the new Discord chatroom for the Elite and the successful advertising of Vimto™, I don't think we could have expected any less. Kapap2 was fantastic, definitely the highlight of the year for GE and arguably the best video crafted in Elite history. Props to everyone that worked hard on it for 5+ months. Dam SA 1:16 finally got tied, only 1:55 and 0:57 to go. Runway is probably the level that got damaged the most in GE. Karl really dominated PD this year and has a comfortable 100+ point lead but kudos to Icy, Flicker, Boss and others as well who've made their contributions with genius strats. The main thing to take away from last year was despite being 17+ years old, both games are continually thriving and the community is as stable as ever. With respect to real-life, it's been an incredibly wacky year with all of the global issues, politics, celebrity deaths and general uncertainty in the world and I don't think anyone could have expected most of the things that happened last year to have actually happened.
So what should we expect this year Let's GO 2017! Make your wildest, most hilarious and some I assume, realistic predictions and let's see which ones COME TRUE! I'll be posting mine in a bit and I hope everyone can just take out a good few minutes (or hours) to make a predictions post in this thread!
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Here are my initial predictions for 2017. This year they are mostly focused around the lives of eliters, rather than global politics or the wider gaming community. There may be more to come;
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Qweczol meets at least one member of Trump's administration team at the inauguration, and gets a picture or signed memorabilia. Cronikeys is jealous.
Flickerform purchases a Magic: The Gathering card more expensive than any he has ever purchased before. He only uses it in friendly games at his house rather than any local tournaments.
Axel Z begins to pen his own "501 best..." book called "501 Days Out for Children in Sweden" but he never finishes, suffering from a crippling case of writer's block at number 378.
Mirrormage disappears completely from the-elite but is it heavily hinted at that he has been recruited by the Kremlin to work alongside Edward Snowden.
Karl learns dozens of really awesome new skills but unfortunately one of those does not include high tier video editing and Youtube channel management, as his channel about learning skills continues to stagnate.
Eddie Lovins reappears in the-elite for a very brief moment during the late spring or early summer and achieves one or two WRs.
David Clemens still does not move his girlfriend Jessica to America from Indonesia. She continues to post pictures on Facebook with other men, and statuses about being enamored with dudes that simply cannot be about Clemens.
Bryan Bosshardt completes 104/105 WRs in Perfect Dark, missing only Chicago Agent 0:14. He declares it "too degenerate" to go for, but after Icy discovers a "warp-climb" which saves 0.3, Boss cakes 14 and hits 105/105. During this time, Boss singlehandedly drops the Perfect Dark total time over 2 minutes and shows all the Twitch-era eliters why he's the greatest eliter of all time. He achieves the untieds for 1:27:59 and 1:26:59 in PD.
Graviton has a rather unnoteworthy year, with his highlights being some very interesting Goldeneye data posts, as well as receiving a shipment of Indian Cialis sometime mid-year.
Jono receives the vinyl copy of Avril Lavigne's new album, numbered #00002 from the press. He is upset when she does not announce tour dates in Australia, but considers or plans on visiting Goose to see her in Toronto.
Glover eventually does his 3am Walmart Twitch IRL stream, but things take an unexpected turn when an 18 year old woman, who is with her 2 year old child, goes into labour in the frozen foods aisle. Glover becomes an internet hero by keeping her child calm while delivering a healthy newborn baby. His Twitch channel gets banned but not before the video is copied and posted everywhere on the internet. In the background of the footage, Red Baron pizzas can be seen, and their Twitter account shares video of the incident. Glover is rewarded for his good deeds by another samaritan who gives him a Golden Corral giftcard with $4.34 remaining on it. He is interviewed by a handful of local news stations, but these stories enrage the Trump-HQ crew when they arbitrarily tie in Glover's heroism with other stories of young, immigrant mothers giving birth to children that otherwise bear no relevance or similarity to the Walmart incident.
Eise's girlfriend is forced to learn Arabic for her social working job in Sweden. Eise picks up on a few phrases which comes to save his life after shouting these to convince terrorists to spare him during a vehicular attack that kills and maims dozens. The attack is only reported as a "traffic accident" in western media.
Luke begins working on a series of photographs called "Drones of Melbourne" which are screenshotted pics with the Snapchat text box, and his Snapchat becomes one of the most popular in all of Australia. He is nominated for the Pulitzer Prize for Photography and meets former Prime Minister John Howard at a gala.
Izzy Szklarz keeps her low profile, continuing to not showcase her Instagram profile, but has a very successful year and vacations in Saint Barthélemy on Leonardo DiCaprio's yacht for a weekend.
Jezz takes a trip to Bondi Beach and has an epic threesome with two hot girls he encounters there, on the edge of a hot tub inside a cabana left open for the night. He reports in Discord that he was "fucking cooked" during the tryst, and spends the rest of the year talking about how he is "fucked keen to go back to Bondi."
Greenounet takes to the streets to participate in a counter-protest after Marine Le Pen is elected President of France in May. There are millions on both sides protesting, but before things turn too ugly, Green goes back home and gets a PD untied while parts of Paris are completely engulfed in riots and flames.
Troubleclef accidentally wins a crossfit competition when he decides to try a new gym one day, is entered into the competition upon walking in the doors, but finds it too awkward to tell anyone that he "just wanted to work out in a new space and doesn't actually do crossfit" so he just goes along with it. He gets a free membership to the gym as a reward, but never comes back and becomes a thing of legend among the usual gym goers.
A very attractive girl approaches Birdie in a Panera Bread one afternoon, realizes that he's actually not the mildly famous person she thought he was, but has approached too close to Birdie's seat to the point of no return. She introduces herself and awkwardly dances around the fact that she "knows him from somewhere," Birdie picks up on what happened, talks about things he's worked on, and they have a decent conversation for ten minutes. He forgets to ask for her number though, which is a relief and only saves the poor woman from more awkwardness.
The highlight of Austin's year comes when a 4 second clip of an interview with him about a tornado is used in an episode of "Storm Chasers" and the same clip is prominently featured in 30 second promo ads for the show. His hair in the clip is awful though, and this heavily disturbs Austin all year long.
Swiss runs a before & after school daycare and word of his excellent care quickly spreads. He ends up charging $30/hr per child and his business is so successful he purchases a larger house to expand. He is closed on weekends and spends them mostly having degenerate sessions of G5.
Marc Rutzou is arrested in connection with the disappearance of Michele Miscavige, but he is released after a few hours of questioning.
Sammy Rodrigues is accidentally credited in the latest Robert Rodriguez film, leading to spikes in searches for his timespage. It becomes the 3rd most viewed timespage on the elite behind only Goose and Narcissa, and his Statue Agent 2:18 video surpasses 200k views on Youtube. The irony is that he unties Statue 00A 2:17 soon thereafter, but that video only gets the usual few dozen views.
Alex Carvahallo's Facebook page becomes "the new emo bible" and he is deified by some in that community, leading to a mild resurgence in MySpace activity.
Nigel Farage stops by the local pub Ogran frequents and they have a pint together. Ogran notices a few stray political signs still left up in windows from the 2015 election on his walk home that he hadn't noticed before. Upon getting home, Ogran cakes two Streets 1:54 dupes while listening to an audiobook about confirmation bias.
Donttouchthedoor, in a moment of spontaneity, buys a ticket to Burning Man. He spends the week there and has an enlightening experience. When he gets back home he sells all his worldly possessions, including his Steam account for $50, and gives up gaming entirely.
Jimbo announces that he and his girlfriend are expecting a baby child to be born in early 2018. Jimbo comes into a little extra money and trades in his 2013 Dodge Challenger for a 2018 Dodge Hellcat Challenger with 707 horsepower. He also buys a 2002 Dodge Caravan for $1200 to appease the girlfriend, but often rants about how he hates driving it in Discord.
Ace and Goose complete an additional full year of Snapchat streak resulting in a streak of 560 on December 31st, 2017. It is one of the longest documented streaks on all of Snapchat and makes several Buzzfeed and other spinoff listicle sites on a post of "longest snapchat streak." The listicles, which only describe their streak in one or two sentences, get nearly everything about it factually wrong. It is apparent some intern screenshotted Goose's tweet about the streak and made up some stuff after 30 seconds of research. Ace loses all of his other streaks at various times during the year though.
Spec becomes a leading member of Brazil's growing "far-right" movements, attending street rallies and nearly getting arrested several times. With massive political unrest all over South America, Spec becomes Cronikeys' most important liaison as she becomes the one of the most followed reporters for the situation in Brazil.
Trent uses an alias to post a doctored video of the "swissclip" Train warp, claiming he's figured it out. Very few fall for the bait, but after a few hours of experimenting, Icy atually gets it to work. He still can't figure out how to reload objects in the level though, so it's not useful in speedrunning yet.
Siglemic is featured in "MTV's Real Life: Transracial Stories" after he declares himself Japanese and becomes a hero to weaboos everywhere on the internet.
Mike Uyama is still not seen anywhere in public by SGDQ 2016 and Marc Rutzou is arrested in connection with his disappearance. Marc is again released after a few hours of questioning.
Goose, Qwec and Lockwood finally reach Masters in Overwatch in Season 4 and have regular, degenerate streams even for them, often exceeding 10 hours. They have moderate streaming success with Lockwood passing 10k followers and getting partner, but they can't break through into the 3k+ viewer Grandmaster tier of streamers. Walrus reaches Grandmaster and is usually playing with the other three on stream but doesn't stream himself; instead only posting clips of his highlights from plays.tv to his Twitter, which increases somewhat in followers.
Deel gets in a vehicular accident while driving back home after a drug deal, but uses a testicular flare up as an alibi to not arouse suspicion from the authorities.
Sakuya reaches the Top 10 in WR leaders in both Goldeneye and Perfect Dark. An entire section of Kapap 3 is dedicated to him entitled "( ´ ▽ ` ) 3."
QuizNO achieves Archives Agent 0:16 and his reaction is so loud the neighbors call the police to investigate. The police arrive and Quizno argues with them on stream before Twitch shuts it down. The video of the situation gets over 200k views on Youtube and is a cornerstone in any 'streamer fail' compilation video made this year. (thanks to Luke for this one!)
Redscreens has an insane Streets 00A run with 3:0 start, Val strafe, Ogran lure strats, another 7:0 and looks to be a 1:52 pace run; but he gets the rare 3:0 ending and dies. He gets 1:54s soon after.
xxomg returns to GE/PD only to delete his timespage again. He does this three times during the year, and abandons every Snapchat streak over 30 that he manages to get. He gets over an 85 average in high school and receives offers to attend many prestigious schools including Yale and Colgate.
Spagooda lives a simple, happy and pleasant, married life. Alex Anderon weds his fiance and they have a modest honeymoon at either a GDQ or Japan; which is his last vacation for several years, as they announce a pregnancy soon thereafter.
Overfiend's discrete, well thought out and harmonious wisdom in Discord increases in frequency, leading him to be declared the "moral compass of the elite."
The-elite erupts with a conspiracy theory that the unidentified masked man who raced against Sakuya in the Japanese marathon is actually Denis Lucid.
Wodahs' career at Google continues to go well as he becomes a vital member of the team which creates a brand new Google Maps system from scratch. The new Google Maps gets poor reviews from a small fraction of users however, when it never manages to find a good route to any iHop restaurant.
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Ace consumes a bad batch of Vimto and consequently must be taken to hospital where he demands to have Twitch streams routed to his hospital room's television. He screams MARCUS STRYKER into one of the nurse's ears who suffers a heart attack but fortunately lives.
dsx gets attacked by a shark at a Perth beach while filming for the long awaited Silo Agent 1:02 movie. He survives but suffers an injury that prevents him from ever being able to kill Trevelyan on Cradle Secret Agent and 00 Agent.
Sammy talks in an Australian accent so often that it becomes his accent. This causes his government and travel documents to be questioned, preventing him from attending AGDQ during this lengthy investigation.
Jezz unties Skedar Ruins Special Agent but is unable to post the time or tell anyone about it due to a sudden city-wide NBN and 4G outage for 5 minutes. During this time Karl achieves the same time and no one believes that Jezz got it first.
Clemens stops over in Australia following a trip to Indonesia, but unfortunately eats contaminated fresh produce from one of the new Aldi stores and has to be hospitalised.
Marc forms "The Truth Party" for the next Denmark election. Surprisingly, he wins.
dsx posts a controller to Greenounet. Due to the incompetence of the French postal service, the circuit board is damaged. The damage however is not known and he plays with the seemingly fine controller. He achieves many new Perfect Dark records with it, but it is later discovered that the damaged circuit board has affected the in-game timer and all these new records get backrolled.
Glover prepares his room for IRL Twitch streams. A keen eye notices what looks like the leg of an anime girl in the corner. He is then exposed to actually be an anime loving Democrat.
Birdie gets a smoking hot girlfriend but she dumps him when she discovers he plays on LCD.
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The standards for Birdie's predictions are hilarious - talking to a random qt and not doing anything, and getting dumped because of a TV
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1. Jono wakes up one day to find he suddenly hates pop music, (his brain underwent some kind of rewiring during sleep). After some exploring on spotify he stumbles upon some experimental Doom Drone bands who he listens to religiously until he dies. This also causes him to auction off his pop records on ebay, only to discover his collection is worth $5 million, with which the-elite mansion is purchased right on Cottesloe Beach, Perth, Western Australia.
2.
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Where are the preds, boys?
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Cheese's first 1:39 is a 1:39:40. Puncay comes back, but cheese always keeps him at arms reach.
I finally get my Doom 64 run on April 1st 2017. Nobody believes me.
Despite being a tier 7 time and having the voted best tutorial of 2016, runway 0:32 is only achieved by 3 new players in 2017 (Boss, Luke, Swiss).
Someone ties Silo 00A.
Karl comes back to GE for a short time and achieves Fac 43 just days before Swiss finally gets it after 500 44 bTs.
Narcissa gets 500 viewers (after a 1200 viewer first day spike) streaming the new zelda game instead of her predicted 10000+. Her delusions leads her to believe that its just the haters' fault because they don't know how perfect and awesome she is. Her patreon is tweeted daily for rent money.
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After 17 weeks of monitoring the league, SI.com’s writers and editors have peered into their respective crystal balls, then turned in their 2017 playoff brackets and Super Bowl picks. ... Preseason, I had Patriots-Seahawks in the Super Bowl; mid-season, I went with Patriots-Packers.
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Luke Szklarz and Qweczol are playing Bunker 2 Agent and Depot 00 Agent respectively in their AGDQ hotel room. In the most shocking event in Elite history, Luke ties Bunker 2 Agent 0:23 on a clean, boostless run and literally seconds later, Qweczol unties Depot 00 Agent with 0:46. The reaction in the room is so loud and crazy the entire Elite is kicked out of AGDQ by the staff. Having nowhere to stay they drive back to PA and continue their meet over there. Ragequit launches a legal case against GDQ, Inc. which goes on until August of this year, where the final verdict is GDQ must pay the Elite $2 million in compensation for unfairly removing them from the hotel. It is decided this money is used to fund the Elite Mansion, but differences in opinions about the location of the mansion causes a major delay in buying it.
I surprise everyone by attending SGDQ 2017. However because I keep it a secret and the event is irrelevant in comparison to AGDQ, no one attends it except Grav and Ov. Grav convinces me to get Depot 0:24 and Streets 1:12 and teaches me Runway 00 Agent, which I untie within a day. I give Pilotwings 64 a try but retire because of my impatience to learn the game.
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After 17 weeks of monitoring the league, SI.com’s writers and editors have peered into their respective crystal balls, then turned in their 2017 playoff brackets and Super Bowl picks. ... Preseason, I had Patriots-Seahawks in the Super Bowl; mid-season, I went with Patriots-Packers.
fuck you, there's no spamming your irrel bullshit in General Chat you mong (bot?)
As for my predictions:
- Ogran [third person hero of mine] achieves Streets 1:10 thanks to obtaining a 10/10 stick which saves literally .3 seconds.
- PokemonGO continues to decline in popularity despite Pokemongs (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Pokemong&defid=4483870) saying it's a good time investment and promising that it 'gets better I swear'.
- Birdie gets Silo 1:03 despite having consistent 1:00 pace starts. He streams some 1:02 attempts but his sister's car gets involved in a fender bender during 'The Run' and he ends up calling each member in chat a Cunt for the next 1 hour.
- Alex Carvalhohoho returns to Goldeneye; only to break his toe on his bathtub the following day and retiring for yet another few years. He takes up Perfect Dark in his spare time but not being able to tap his toes to the music tilts him too much and he spirals into a mental breakdown.
- Luke Scarz decides to fly to ESA 2017 to meet Illu, Eise and Henning. But to everyone's surprise, Marc Rootsu appears out of nowhere resulting in very many awkard conversations where Marc spells out Luke's Youtube video URLs from memory and giving a thumb down hand motion irl.
- Goose follows through on his 10 Goldeneye IL Lore Videos but forgets to stream all year. He comments, "I only have enough degenerate time for one of them, pick one you Hilary shill."
- JimboJones gets married and later divorced when his wife asks him to choose between his marriage and his goldeneye points.
- Lark posts a few 70 pointers but still nothing Marc finds 'good'.
- Spec continues to exist in the real world, surprising everyone.
- Sammy Rodreegehz gets fed up of people having to distinguish between him and Sam (Haycuck) so travels to Michigan to 'take Sam off the rankings' - he stops into a retrogame store along way and his anger is soothed.
- Sakuya and BlueShirt do a Goldeneye 100% RTA at RTAJapan 2017. They both wear hoods, facemasks, voiceboxes and give their details to the run organisers based on a 10x10x10 coinflip result. Nobody is surprised.
- Lockwood doesn't get Streets 1:11; buuuut, meets a bangin 10/10 at the Gym who he thinks is the One. He decides to wait 18months to see how it goes before considering marriage like a sensible human being.
- Ace creates twice as many polls as 2016, twice as many Snaps, twice as many threads and still doesn't understand why his timespage gets frozen.
- James Dalziel aka TouchDoor is convicted of numerous illeagal gun possesion charges after it is explained to him MULTIPLE times that playing Goldeneye isn't the only criteria.
- Split posts his unhoard, gets to rank 46 but never touches the game again claiming 'CoD is better by far'.
- Austin fucks chick and on the high, gets Runway22 SA unrecorded: Eliters don't know which one they should believe more.
[/list] -<<i cant get rid of this list tag help me spaghetti
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Narcissa gets 500 viewers (after a 1200 viewer first day spike) streaming the new zelda game instead of her predicted 10000+
Day 1
(https://i.imgur.com/oS8HXGV.jpg)
Day 2
(https://forums.the-elite.net/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.4cdn.org%2Fvg%2F1488757869619.png&hash=2961dc0bc62f335aa89d14c83b75e0157797eeb1)
:nesquik:
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Most accurate prediction since the 2015 Kittyrawr/Jackafur marriage proposal.
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yeah absolutely insane pred
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Wow!
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Out of curiosity, would you happen to have the clip (I assume) of her saying this, Grav? I am interested in hearing it.
Regards,
Ace
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theres no way I can remember which of the million 2 hour long vids it was in
the plan was to get a few thousand viewers with twilight princess speedruns as a buildup to botw. that only got like 600 viewers. im 100% certain the pred was five figures for botw