The Elite Forum
Nonsense Time => FFA => Topic started by: Grav on July 08, 2017, 06:12:42 pm
-
GDQ's, in an effort to stay rel for the rest of time, has transitioned into a WWE-style speedrunning event.
Your speedrun is next on the schedule and the run before you just finished.
THE LIGHTS DIM...
THE LOUD SPEAKERS POWER UP...
THE CROWD DRAWS SILENT IN ANTICIPATION...
What song plays??????????
ME:
-
Ace has been flown in direct from Karachi to Washington DC, first class on Air Emirates. The $30,000 plane ticket was donated by The Yetee. Ace is poised to walk on and run Goldeneye 100%, attempting to break 1:00:00 for the first time ever, live in front of 200k people. The setup is done, and Ace walks into the room entouraged by Swiss, Jono and Qweczol. His entrance song is of course;
Ace has an ice machine and playfully tosses snowballs into the crowd, which they gleefully catch. Small children are thrilled, making snow angels in now 4 inches of accumulated snow on the ballroom floor. Two snowcone carts wheel in and start handing out free snowcones to everyone in the crowd, Vimto flavoured and sponsored. Everyone is super happy to see what should be another pleasant, fun, family friendly run at a GDQ.
He sits down, gets mic'd up, grabs his controller, and is ready to do this incredible solo WR run attempt. The tension in the room is palpable. The Yetee has donated another $50,000.
BUT WAIT
There is an apparent power outage. Or at least, all the power is being drained by someone... or something. Ambient electric distortion can be heard as panic starts to set in on the crowd. 30 seconds pass, but it feels like 7 minutes of Hell. A sudden BOOM rocks the building as the spectators cower under their chairs in fear. Air raid sirens can be heard in the distance. In one yocto-second, a massive, floating stage appears, moving into the marathon room; blasting THIS song at over 140 decibels;
IT'S MARC FUCKING RUTZOU, AND THIS HAS JUST TURNED INTO A RACE.
Marc takes off his Darth Vader helmet to deafening cheers and jeers. Black and red strobe lights are nearly giving spectators mass seizures not seen since Pokemon's infamous Porygon episode. Marc starts tossing dishes like frisbees into the crowd, as his float moves slowly and ominously towards the couch. The camera pans to a pair of blondes with large boobs who caught one of the dishes and are jumping up and down, mega keen for lucking into some Marc Rutzou memorabilia.
Marc jumps off his float, onto the couch, while pyrotechnics spout sparks into the audience. Marc grabs a controller as the GDQ staff rush to set up a 2nd console and CRT. The perfect time for Marc's entourage to enter.
In walks Justin Bieber, Floyd Mayweather, Papa John Schnatter, aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnddddddddddddd.............
LOCKWOOD'S TURNED HEEL, HE'S IN RUTZOU'S ENTOURAGE NOW!
Hans Zimmer is performing a live mix of the Streets 112 track with Lockwood's commentary. Lockwood is wearing two giant, foam, pixelated, Grenade Launchers on his hands. He shoots pyrotechnics into the crowd which give mini explosions as "RIGHT IN THE FUCKING HEAD" is played. Lockwood's last shots are a towel and a bottle of water, which Marc Rutzou cleanly catches. Lockwood pulls up a throne beside Marc, ready to coach him through the run.
The camera pans to Ace, who polishes off his Vimto, goes "ahhhh" in refreshment, then says "Marcus Stryker" in his classic accent.
The host starts counting down.... 3.... 2... 1....
GO!
-
Fucking legendary Goose :LOL:
-
:LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
-
Goose's post here may be the best one I've ever read on the boards. :rollin: :rollin: :rollin:
-
:rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: LOLING SO HARD
-
?