I exploded on my girl today

[Worlds-One]

Like the title says.

Their a different breed. When mommy buys you everything you wont be able to be appreciated.

The reason for the blow up today? We havent been together since the 1st. I was telling her for a while that I was going to cancel her phone line, she just didnt appreciate what I did and shes been sketchy with who she was talking to on her wrk phone. Her ex bf "called her" and she "called" the number back. Yeah sure. She hasnt showed me love. I said some things through aim on my phone to a friend in MA which I shouldnt have. It was related to some girls on the sandbar while she was there, on the boat with me, but I obviously made the situation more then what it was when I was typing to him through aim. It was actually on the way up to see Adam and the gang. Anyhow we've been not together for about a month and she calls ALL the time. I anwser her phone calls because she makes me feel like a jackass when I dont anwser. (oh you never answer when I call type deal, which she loves the non attention when I dont anwser, why I have no idea)

We've been together off and on for 3 years and it just gets old if we cant move forward. She has a problem with forgiving or wanting to move forward IDK. Everyone gives everything to her to be happy and she just isnt a happy person, its been taking me down alot because I encourage her and try to make her the best she can be, she has come along way in alot of areas. Again no one is perfect but you try your best with someone you love.

So I left her house because she told me too, even thought she really didnt want me to-she rather keep me there and nag to me about what I said to a friend one day on aim then for her to realize the bigger picture-our relationship and her putting zero effort into it. She wants her own time to herself, thats cool, communicate that. I realize shes not happy with herself, the way she looks I guess and shes just not happy. I encourage her to go to the gym, she finally 3 months or so later starts to go.

Long story short we went out to eat the other night and everything was good, well it was really nice and felt like a functioning relationship but I realize this was too much for her to be happy. Took her out caught up on her time, she asked me to come back and well everyone was happy, we were happy. I knew it was difficult for her to be happy why I dont know it just was even though she was all smiles and got what she wanted food/attention/love/more love. Shes calling me everyday. OK shes thinking about me when "she" has time, which is cool and why I answer and because I love her, but it gets old after a month. I'm not patient at this point 3 years in and its like whats the deal here. The month goes by and its still like well are you going to talk about where "WE" are heading or is everything still about "YOU." I dont say this to her but you'd think she would say something at some point about whats going on.

Yet another week goes by and we go out to eat thrusday(this last thrusday) I tell her I dont want to talk about "EVERYTHING AND OVER ANALIZE" everything. I just want to know what it is your feeling. She starts to talk about the past yada yada...and its like we started a new year together to MOVE forward. I bring out this guy Paul who she was lying to me about. My birthday last year I wasnt with her, I expect her to do whatever mind you. But she lied. She asked me if I had seen anyone or seeing. I was like no, then I ask her the same question she says no. So during this time shes talking to this guy paul. Theres more to the story but anyways. We're at dinner and she cant even admit to lying about this guy Paul which is like a serious thing. I'm like "you lied about him to me on my birthday, then after when he called you one night and you said you were going somewhere on the weekend" Looked in her phone the morning after. She always went through my phone, how she found the aim conversation with my friend from up north. Now (at dinner) you still cant confess to lying about that. Everything to her can just be pushed away but the smallest thing for me when she isnt showing me love is like a blow up session on Sterling.

So she walked out and we talked that night and she said sorry to walk out just wanted to get home and couldnt take anymore. Whatever fine I didnt even really want to bring the Paul thing up but she was bringing things up to me at dinner from like 2 years ago, Paul thing was like 4 months ago.

Now today on facebook she adds Paul. Its like are you serious. Mind you, I had to delete ALL my ex girlfriends that I was friends with because she didnt want any of that. Her myspace page while we were back together had single and she had that other ex bf back on her top friends list there till I told her I wasnt havent that. The kids a loser and does drugs and is just a loser. I understand her feelings as she doesnt understand mind obviously with having ex girlfriends on mine. She takes him off but kept the single thing till this day. She claims not to use myspace, whatever I bet that guy paul is on her myspace. She adds paul today to her page claiming when I called her to see what was going on " it was a friendly request, I added other people too."


I'm boggled maybe im over the top but its making no sense and its like why dont you just not call me period. You're going to add paul? Like wtf? Then she messaged me later on facebook, after I've had it and deleted her from my page for good, and basically over this disfunctional relationship we've had for 3 years that she wanted to see how I would "react." Like WHATTTT, how did you think I was going to react? drop you off flowers like I do every now and then at work? Take you out for another meal when we dont talk about US? It's like how did you want me to react? So I reacted like I have before posting my business on facebook. I have nothing to hide and if shes going to be scandolous online and talk crap to her family and friends, im going to let them know whats up. So I did that today. I just cant believe the things she does and how she keeps me around and then adds paul and expects me to except her excuses and her reasons for doing stupid stuff.

Any thoughts are welcomed..or pictures goose..jim if you can give me a titantic ship sinking or something that would be great.

[RWG]

[RWG]

And this is what Sterling means by "I exploded on my girlfriend."

[wishiwasfamous]

The topic title and "We havent been together since the 1st" made me think of something VERY different. o_O

[Lark]

COOL STORY BRO.

[Matis]

Damn Sterling that sucks. Kinda sounds like some crap I deal with long distance with my gf but not to that extreme. Its kind of stupid the whole myspace and facebook thing like she sounds like a hypocrite having you do all those things like deleting crap then goes off and does it. Just sucks, i feel for you and the whole girl thing cause it is a lot of work and if they're not helping and it's just you it can be overbearing and really pain staking. But I'm sure you'll pull through with the best result and bounce back from this.

[TreAKAHotdog]

i saw all the statuses on facebook

[Time was untied when set.]

Heres a thought :Why dont you both delete your myspace/facebook pages!

Fuck the internet.

[Carathorn]

if you start clemens, we'll follow

[Red Bull]

Sterling, you could start by quit putting all the blame on her. All I read in that long rant was that she did this and that. Well, these problems only occur when both parties in a relationship did something. And assuming you cant change her, but you can change yourself, you might as well start there, and see from there.

[Worlds-One]

We'll thats just it red bull. I'm the one that has changed and its got to the exploding point. Nice pics ryan. She is telling me how I havent changed, where I have in everyway possible. When you have changed and she doesnt is where the conflict continues especially when she tells you that I havent changed. You go change yourself then have someone say you did dog crap and see how you feel. She's playing games because her mentality isnt all there and shes just immature.What I did was over the edge but I've just been mentality beat and not myslef because of all of her mess and problems. Then im the one that has changed or been there for her..its stupid. Well thanks for the comments anyway..

[Worlds-One]

David that would make sense but I doubt she'd do that...I feel like that would take away from just being social. She has had friend problems and taking "facebook" or "myspace" away is making her feel like I have more control and I would be considered controlling her. Besides alot of people can handle these social sites but like I said earlier, shes hurt me by adding this guy to "see my reaction" and her case its adding people she lied about, and someone we had just talked about. This is just one example I me giving her my heart and her wanting to play games after 3 years and do what she did. It's ridic.
I'd be more then happy to quit facebook, its part of my social life though and how I connect to people everywhere. But if she could quit both sites I could do the same. I really dont think this is the problem, its more of get a clue you're 26 and grow up. What is it you want to do with a relationship you're up and down in, get ahold of yourself type deal. She doesnt have any real goals or anything mommies going to give her everything so she'll be ok type deal.

[Matis]

yeah max...sometimes it really is all the girls fault.

[Saint Shang]

I read what you wrote Sterling and it sucks. Now i'm no expert on any of these things, except to say that from reading many a similar thing before it doesn't look good. Refer to my topic about the DJ Bible, i believe it may be just what you need. Here's the link DJ Bible


It layman terms it would be like this:
Don't go by a womans WORDS, but by her ACTIONS.
She's an attention whore, spilling her emotional crap onto you while prob banging this Paul dude. She's having her cake and eating it at the same time. You wonder why she won't cut contact? Cause you give her the attention that she craves. Knowing that you "love" her is feeding her ego.

"She's playing games because her mentality isnt all there and shes just immature.What I did was over the edge but I've just been mentality beat and not myslef because of all of her mess and problems. Then im the one that has changed or been there for her..its stupid."

You said it yourself, your gut tells you things that dont sit right. You've been on and off with this girl for 3 years, you have feelings for her, and it drags you down the fact that she isn't making forward progress when the two of you are/were a couple. Ok, a question..........could you walk away from this girl today, cutting all contact with her and get on with your life? Be honest here. If not then you have to look closer. You can't change another person, they have to want to change for themselves. Your description of her as being "not all there" i can understand. The dangerous thing is when you try to "rescue" her from such a state.

It's known as "Captain Save A Ho". Now i'm not saying your girl is a ho, but you are sacrificing your own happiness and wellbeing by going saviour on her ass. You are hurt by her facebook antics, by adding this Paul and rubbing it in your face. What's happening here is she is seeing you get jealous, needy and insecure. You know yourself that she's playing games. You want her to admit she's lied, but what will this give you?

My advice would be to take time out and ask yourself questions about what it is you want from life. Remember, no girl is "special". There are millions of women out there, don't get caught up on "The One". Your girl aint respecting you, but you aren't respecting yourself either by putting up with crap.

Bully is right in that if she is doing things it's cause you messed up somewhere along the road. Flowers at work every now and then? Dinner dates? Hmm sounds like she lost her attraction to you at some point. Her saying she wants some time to herself is basically saying you're in her face. This Paul may take drugs and be a loser, but he's doing something right for your girl to be "talking" to him. The fact is she aint talking to him, she's drinking his DNA. A harse truth. She won't admit this to you. When she's asked if you have seen someone else or are, this may seem like a normal thing right? It isn't. I've experienced this for myself. The same comment. The reality is that she's been taking it up the ass from Paul for awhile now. You are her emotional tampon. Do yourself a favour, cut contact with her, and move on.

3 years later and is it worth it? By the time you have tortured yourself with the whys? hows? what ifs? you could have found a girl who is "normal". Do it for yourself. In 10 years time, don't look back on your life and regret holding onto a broken relationship that required more effort than was neccasary. There's a time and a season for everything, not all things are "meant" to be.

[Red Bull]

I'm not saying it is someone's fault, or at least not intentional, but it would be ignorant to say that it is only her fault. There's always two sides to the story, and it's not easy to admit that.

[Worlds-One]

Thanks saint shang, I really needed that and I appreciate you taking the time to be honest and respectful to such a rough subject. I doubt she is doing paul though although who knows. She has too much time and calls me all the time to be doing things with this guy. I assume she talks to him though through myspace, her picture on her page is saying "whore" all over it. Again its a jealous thing with the attention. The girl is insecure though and you're right about everything you said. I'm sure she has done paul because im not a moron.

Oh well, just going to take some time to move on. She still called me yesterday and I anwsered, why I have no idea but I just have to stop anwsering her calls. I wanted to see her cousins and she had the nerve to call and ask me to go over for dinner with her parents and cousins. (which we had planned before the ryan explosion happen.) I did go over, which I shouldnt have...she obviously wasnt even happy nor did she really look at me much.(Sure her parents could tell she was thrilled, and her cousins) It's over with pretty much. I also showed her 2 numbers from women from the place I guard d rop off due to one of the women's birthday...that wasnt a smart idea but if we're playing a game I think I won yesterday. Stupid yes, oh well I've known we been done for a while...

[Scrambler Fanny]

Sterling, you could start by quit putting all the blame on her. All I read in that long rant was that she did this and that. Well, these problems only occur   when both parties in a relationship did something. And assuming you cant change her, but you can change yourself, you might as well start there, and see from   there.

good post, imo

[Invertigone]

I am no relationship expert. I have never been in one, yet I always like to give advice to some people and help them out.


You said "She wants her own time to herself". I have known people even after breaking up they still have those feelings. I can imagine you still have feelings for someone even if you break up. Maybe if you just give her her own time, it may be beneficial for the both of you. What I do when I get into a disagreement is I tell them that I understand where they are coming from, and then in a civil manner I explain my point of view.

Good luck Sterling.

[Worlds-One]

Yeah I told her I understand she needs time. I understand you dont know the whole story. I wouldnt have gone on a rant yesterday if i wasnt 100% convinced i didnt understand just that "one" point- needing space.But if that's the case, don't call me everyday...(which I've told her) calling me on her time, selfish. I'm just supposed to wait around for her? How about I give you REAL time, and when "she" feels ready come back. (assuming I would even take her) she has alot of changing to do, at this point it's through. Doing scandolous things like adding some guy we talked about 4 nights before, when she still couldn't admit she lied, to "see" my reaction is so childish. She'll get all the time she wants to be miserable.

Yesterday was finally the first day we didn't talk. Although her co worker who she talks junk about PM'ed me asking what Loren thought about her.
Like I was going to be honest...of course Loren asked her to ask me that, playing dumb games. I obviously said nice things because I already got what I needed to say out.

If you want space take it. Don't use me to call me everyday when it's ok for her. Figure out your deal and don't play games. Adding that guy is throwing a knife at me. "girls" and their games, I need a women.. One that appreciates nice things I do. Someone that gives back to a 3 yr relationship. Someone who doesn't just wait for mommy or myself to do everything.

[alexaxxem]

this is why i avoid relationships, problems are not worth my time. besides, she does things like paul for attention, all girls have to have it, just how much are you willing to give.

[Scrambler Fanny]

this is why i avoid relationships, problems are not worth my time. besides, she does things like paul for attention, all girls have to have it, just how much   are you willing to give.

WTF?!?!

stop posting after hittin a spliff!

[Worlds-One]

I respect his prospective, its cool. I agree with that.

[SimThreat]

You're not feeling great about the situation which is a sign that you're not acting like you wish you were. I assume that you have pretty much been acting the same way for the last 3 years and this situation continues because you haven't changed. You need to start doing everything the opposite of what you have been doing.

It sounds like you've been quite deceptive and hypocritical. If you don't feel like talking to her.. answering her calls is lying. If you don't feeling like doing something but you do it anyway, or if you feel like saying something but don't, that's being deceptive. One of the biggest reasons some relationships aren't pleasent is because people hold on to them when they aren't working out. The fact of the matter is that you're feeling terrible about what's going on, and you've done nothing about it. It situation will not evolve on it's on, you have to do something about it.

A concept I've realised lately is that most people don't even like the partner they are with. In fact the only thing they like is an IDEA of a person they have inside of them. It seems obvious to me that this girls makes you feel like SHIT. So why do you like her? The fact very well could be that you don't like her at all. You probably have a concept in your head of a girl you like. One that does not lie and treats you well and is not a total douche. You're projecting that into this particular girl. So when you look at her you may not be seeing who she ACTUALLY is, and all you're seeing is what you WISH her to be.

Stop lieing to yourself Sterling and look at the reality of the situation.

[Scrambler Fanny]

One that does not lie and treats you well and is not a total douche.

... that sounds like my wifey

[Worlds-One]

I agree with that statement too darksim, although you're not there with the actual relationship to tell or listen to what she says about when I DONT pick up. She may say it to make me feel (playing games) like she cares or in her case want the attention she wants at that time I guess. (even though its been 3 years). Saying its been 3 years, I'd like to see you have a relationship for 3 years, have the girl you supposively love tell you she needs time. Then not anwser her calls. Let me know how it works for you.

On a side note the last time I've talked to her is 12:00 am on sunday. So I dont talk to her -just like at dinner when she says " oh you havent been anwsering me much" I can tell she cares and now it will be more then ever because I will not go back to her.

On a note of doing something or not doing something. I told her about taking the phone away. I bought her a phone and pay for her service. I knew I shouldnt have, as well as the valentines day gift. But thats the person I am, caring boyfriend for 3 years and hopefully one day she'll get it and wake up to just that. In my case I payed for things I knew I shouldnt have I guess. Thats what happens in a 3 yr relationship when obviously games are being played..

I stood on my word and took her phone away and now im NOT going to anwser her calls. Plain and simple. Again the reason why this was blown up is because things ARE through. She has even told me she doesnt even know who she is. Which is just sad and a lame excuse. I mean come on pull yourself together you're 26!...Besides I stopped giving her the support she needs now, and just going to move on and stop trying to make things work. Thats the reality of it. Good luck to her and the 3 month downfall she had when we broke up...thats a whole nother story...

[Worlds-One]

I got this today before leaving work-

Hi, how are you? i think we should really talk because i really dont agree with the way we left things. We are both adults and think this should be dealt with in a more mature matter. Let me know what you think.

Loren


She really doesnt agree with how we left things? LOL I dont agree on everything you did and everything I want you to be.(Things she said she would like to work on) I dont agree you added paul and wanted to get my reaction. I dont believe we are ever going anywhere with this relationship so there is no point to talk to you because you(her) dont agree. I agree we're both adults but you'v acted like a child this whole time with all your "games." This is what I think. Now I kinda just winged this on this board.
I DID NOT WRITE THIS TO HER, NOR SHOULD ANYONE HERE. But its like you know what, things arent about her anymore and shes someones I want but thats not who she is, im just dreaming that. I'm not even anwsering her. She wrote that 5 minutes before leaving work.

I should just tell her im so de-stressed with her out of my life, and everything with her is a production. I took off her co worker the other day because she private messaged me something its pretty irrelevant but Loren also took her off her page today. I swear Loren just drops friends/boyfriends people like there nothing...she needs the attention and now sent me that message today.

This is long enough again im just writing away but the top part of what she wrote is the ONLY thing real here, everything else was written by me and just off the top of my head.

[Soft-Hedwig]

Seriously, why are you posting every detail of your personal life on this boards.....

Instead of asking (mostly) strangers about what you should do, talk about it to some people that really matter to you, where that be close irl friends or family. People who know you better and might be able to guide you more effectively. Trying to get serious reaction to any kind of weighty issue on this board is like pissing into the wind.

[Worlds-One]

Understandable.

I guess for my actions, alot of you on the boards, are on facebook. I consider whoever is on facebook to me a friend IRL. I do alot of communicating online as well as IRL. I figured I'd post this here because I do know several people and figured I'd share my outrage the other day.

Back to the topic she has currently called me 4 times in this last 5 minutes. I still have not anwsered. All she is saying is that she wants to handle things in a mature way. (which I have been trying to do this whole relationship) She just wants the attention shes missed and she is addiment about it. She's like I'd appreciate it if you called. Again like darksim said- made it more clearer to me- which is why its good to get some responces. Is that I see her as someone more then what she is and some others things he mentioned.

Durk I appreciate your responce(s) but the choice is yours if you want to post something condusive or not. Besides I like pissing in the wind. You never know- you might be 26 some day in a similiar position with similiar problems/issues with a women.

[Worlds-One]

She has now called 6 times, and has since tried to add me to facebook as a friend. WTF MAN...girl is unreal...she just DONT get it.

[Scrambler Fanny]

Understandable.  
 
  I guess for my actions, alot of you on the boards, are on facebook. I consider whoever is on facebook to me a friend IRL. I do alot of communicating online   as well as IRL. I figured I'd post this here because I do know several people and figured I'd share my outrage the other day.  
 
  Back to the topic she has currently called me 4 times in this last 5 minutes. I still have not anwsered. All she is saying is that she wants to handle things   in a mature way. (which I have been trying to do this whole relationship) She just wants the attention shes missed and she is addiment about it. She's   like I'd appreciate it if you called. Again like darksim said- made it more clearer to me- which is why its good to get some responces. Is that I see her   as someone more then what she is and some others things he mentioned.  
 
  Durk I appreciate your responce(s) but the choice is yours if you want to post something condusive or not. Besides I like pissing in the wind. You never   know- you might be 26 some day in a similiar position with similiar problems/issues with a   women.

[Invertigone]

Understandable.  
 
  I guess for my actions, alot of you on the boards, are on facebook. I consider whoever is on facebook to me a friend IRL. I do alot of communicating online   as well as IRL. I figured I'd post this here because I do know several people and figured I'd share my outrage the other day.  
 
  Back to the topic she has currently called me 4 times in this last 5 minutes. I still have not anwsered. All she is saying is that she wants to handle things   in a mature way. (which I have been trying to do this whole relationship) She just wants the attention shes missed and she is addiment about it. She's   like I'd appreciate it if you called. Again like darksim said- made it more clearer to me- which is why its good to get some responces. Is that I see her   as someone more then what she is and some others things he mentioned.  
 
  Durk I appreciate your responce(s) but the choice is yours if you want to post something condusive or not. Besides I like pissing in the wind. You never   know- you might be 26 some day in a similiar position with similiar problems/issues with a women.

4 times in 5 minutes? Have you thought of a number change?

[the Blueline Goddess]

lol @ alec

Seems like both parties in this relationship need to grow up a little. And Max has it wrong, there are THREE sides to every story - in this case sterling's, loren's, and the truth.

[Matis]

Yeah definitely not pissing in the wind durk, sometimes the best advice is to ask a stranger and see what their opinion is.

[Red Bull]

If you look at it that way I can figure out more sides to the story.
- Sterling
- Sterling girlfriend
- Truth
- A little bit of truth
- No truth
- Din mor

[Scrambler Fanny]

i completely agree with Max, tbqh

[RWG]

Yeah because having to tell 150+ friends and contacts that you got a new number, while hiding the new number from his girlfriend, is a lot easier than the alternatives.

[Red Bull]

You can just block the number if you're that bothered with it.

[RWG]

From the contemporary topic of the week;

maygs lol...fals idea was good and the idea of youtube being put on is great.  
 
  I always liked when you were able to click on a players time (WR or not) and be able to get his video. Thats just me though. I also think how the viewing of   the WR page is weak. Maybe for each (a/sa/ooa) of the level- a picture of the level/backround/objective picture/boss/charactor of that level should be in the   backround block.( along with the intials of the players with WR) A youtube block next too OOA with current WR's on that specific level and agents would   be also nice and quick link for people viewing the WR times page.  
 
  The front page needs to be cleaned up. Maybe its my settings but the page looks too clostrafobic. The youtube idea   and fals idea is nice. Mods/admin are doing a good job site needs a face lift when everyone is ready. Good comments so far! I'm sure everyone can   contribute something...jimbo might want a titanic sinking ship in the backround or something...

EPIC
WIN
OF
ALL
TIME
 

[Maygs]

I don't find this funny, what am I missing?

[Soft-Hedwig]

CLOSTRAFOBIC

[Scrambler Fanny]

THAT SETTLES IT!!!

STERLING IS ADAM MATIS!!!

[Worlds-One]

no good guess though. Adam is a whole heck of a lot better a smash brothers then me. Speaking of which, adam when we going to meet up with Clark for a few days in Miami? I'm open thrusday - friday nights...LMK man we need another meet up!

[Matis]

yeah afan thanks for being a dick, really dont find that funny.



umm probably not anytime soon at the moment cause i really have no money until the end of june.

[Scrambler Fanny]

Matis-Who is your daddy and what does he do?

also-why do you whine so much?

[Matis]

so you insult me and i say i don't like it and you say i whine....

not really your just being a dick about it. You could apologize...think about that?

[Scrambler Fanny]

I'm sorry, please think of me as a chum!!!