This is an original thought I came up with a few weeks ago and have been wanting to share with you folks.
Are you tired of being shat upon by the government? Society? Are you sick of being used like a little doll by "the man?"
If so, here's what you can do about it!
Start marrying dudes.
Yes, you heard me correctly! Start marrying dudes! I'm not telling you to have sex with him, just marry him!
Here's how such a small gesture can mindfuck with every big one who has ever tried to keep you down;
1. Economic Sanctity
There's no question that men are better with money than women. Everyone knows that all a wife is good for is spending your hard earned money, then divorcing you for some surgeon or lawyer who makes twice your wage while still sucking back half of your income for child support. Marry a guy and this won't happen. To make things easier, why not marry a guy as a business partner? Those divorce court people will sure have a shitstorm when this happens... and so will all women since their main line of work (that being marrying a dude, having kids and raping him for all he's worth) will be reduced to non existence.
2. Ability to have Several Partners
So you're still a heterosexual man... well guess what! Now you can go out and bang as many hot bitches as you want. No more one-gina syndrome. You're not technically cheating on your husband since there's no sexual relationship there anyways. We all know that males are supposed to mate with as many women as possible to spread their line to as many offspring as possible... now you can do it, free of guilt! Even better... we all know those psychotic bitches you fuck and then they want you to marry them and run away with them into some loveland... well that's too bad for them because you're already married! It's a double win!
3. Love
Which conservative numbnut decided that love only takes place between a man and a woman? Sure sex should, but that's no love! As the great, late Bob Marley showed everyone, love is everywhere! Eat it up. Think about how many times a man has to oppress his love for his family, best friend or anyone else because "it's gay." Well no more homophobia, love anyone you want without having to feel gay about it. You can even run off with them to some tropical island if you need to, and you still won't be cheating! Your husband won't care if you have your best friends over to watch football or anything either! Man this is such a great idea.
4. Screw with Pinkos, Commies, Liberals, Democrats, Tree-Huggers and Prude Righties
Think about how pissed they'll be when this all happens! Odds are they'll want to ban gay marriage after this since the "sanctity" of the whole thing will be ruined. Talk about great revenge!
So my friends, when you go to sleep tonight thinking about how you can screw the man who forcibly keeps you face down on your bed all the time, think about this. Start marrying dudes. It's that simple.
