1. Jim Barrett - Has been playing for 14 years, has an eye for rhythm, can make music on anything that can be classified as percussion.
Strengths: Has hand speed capable of 300 BPM and upwards, has an outstanding ability to play 4 things at once with 4 different extremities, can keep tempo to a scientifically precise metronome indefinitely as it goes mute, can out-snare any marching band drummer. Could hop into any mainstream band and seamlessly join and become a millionaire.
Weakness: Fast metal requiring sustained double bass
2. Michael "Mgay" Gaydeski - Can hit an extraordinarily high note on a trumpet, is going to have a PhD in trumpet, can play poly-rhythm beats to Jimbo's unbelievably precise beats.
Strengths: Practices on a strict schedule, even at VA.
Weakness: Needs a "good trumpet please" to perform well, spikes trumpet if note is off key.
3. Tom "wiff" Andrews - Can play a pipe organ the size of a house, has personally been chosen by Jesus to perform upon his inevitable return someday.
Strengths: Can play trolololo, has a knack for summoning angels
Weakness: Train horns have skewed his ability to track pitch correctly.
4. Karl "huge cock" Jobst - Can shred guitar better than I can shred a pizza, was personally taught by Joe Satriani to be able to play insane riffs and progressive chords that only masters could ever play. Huge penis acts as a 5th playing-finger.
Strengths: Swag and ability to summon his inner-funk on command, can play multiple instruments in addition to guitar such as keyboard, bass, drums, and can sing.
Weakness: Cannot juggle while playing guitar, otherwise no weaknesses.
5. Hugo "Carathorn" Van Der Wolk - Possibly the elite's most talented producer and musician talent combined. Can edit songs to make them sound legen (... wait for it...) dary.
Strengths: THE DK AND CARA SHOW, the music scene he is surrounded by, swag.
Weakness: Questionable music choice during commute to work, can't keep metronomic rhythm.
