Author Topic: The 2018 Predictions Thread  (Read 2588 times)

Selenium Webdriver

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The 2018 Predictions Thread
« on: December 31, 2017, 10:30:46 am »
To a board moderator: please leave this thread in the GoldenEye forum until the awards threads are desticked. Posting in General Chat would otherwise bury this thread, and I don't think a topic as good as this belongs in TGC.

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The most anticipated thread of the year is here! Here's a look back to at the 2015, 2016 and 2017 ones if you want a chuckle, or to just see who won the Elite's fortune teller (Merlon) award with the most correct predictions. I HIGHLY recommend going through them if you haven't already:

2015 - https://forums.the-elite.net/index.php?topic=19973.0
2016 - https://forums.the-elite.net/index.php?topic=20753.0
2017 - https://forums.the-elite.net/index.php?topic=21655.msg443035#msg443035

If you're new and too lazy to check those threads, this is basically where we predict what happens in 2018. You can make as predictions as you want. For example:

- Ace finally posts the Dam Secret Agent tutorial on his birthday.

Or if you are more creative, you can make them as wild as you want:

- setrack makes a visit to North America to meet his Hillarian sister in Los Angeles. During his America trip, he fortuitously encounters STPeach at a McDonalds car park, who becomes enamored by his charming personality. STPeach cheats on her current boyfriend with setrack, who then moves in with her and becomes a popular CS:GO player, amassing thousands of followers by the end of the year.

Post away! I will post my list soon.

Tinosaurus

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Re: The 2018 Predictions Thread
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2017, 11:14:32 am »
Absolutely no-one achieves a dam 52 in 2018
Goose achieves dam 00 1:55
Marc R. gets dam 00 1:54 (or better)
Ace ties it within 2 months
Goose invests 3000 usd into cryptocurrencies for absolutely no reason after achieving streets agent 1:10
Irie butler gets an untied wr

Niiro Kitsune

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Re: The 2018 Predictions Thread
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2017, 11:07:37 pm »
Ace gets Dam SA 1:15; Marc gets 00 1:54
Karl continues to break the limits of players and gets Runway A 21 in the process
Either Marc or Clemens gets S1 A 1:01
B1 goes untied three ways: Karl or Clemens on A, Ace on SA, and Clemens or Ace on 00
Frig A 22 by either Ace or Pettit
B2 00 untied by Green or Ace
Sammy gets Statue 00 2:17 for no fucking reason other than to have an untied
Cradle A 33 (someone's gonna get it, no fucking clue who tho, Goose?)
Clemens (or maybe even someone like Wodahs) gets Aztec A 1:23
Ace unties Egypt A with 44

Still no Dam SA tut
Dam 52 remains untied, but Arch 15 is tied by at least Gus
Karl ties either Arch SA or 00, but not both
Irie breaks into Top 50
JustinDT returns to GE, gets one lower-tier wr, then disappears again
OOB tricks are "proven" (for all intents and purposes) to be useless for speedrunning
At least one player is found to have faked/illegitimate runs up on the rankings
Between 11 and 128 new players join the rankings
« Last Edit: January 01, 2018, 12:55:59 am by Niiro Kitsune »
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Re: The 2018 Predictions Thread
« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2018, 09:24:15 pm »
Here are some of my predictions for 2018:

Bitcoin falls to $3.00 and everyone in the world panic sells somewhere along the line.  A record number of suicides of young men takes place to the point that Silicon Valley surpasses Jonestown and 9/11 for the greatest loss of American civilian life in a single day in peace time history.  Ngamer somehow holds onto his Bitcoin and it sees a resurgence all the way up to $650k USD.  He still doesn't sell but his net worth of $35M is published in a Forbes article called “the man who HODLed” and he ends up dating an agender Instagram model for a few months.

A new popular app comes out, along the lines of a Snapchat, Instagram or Telegram (this might end up being V2 actually), and the-elite gets involved.  Early on, one eliter (possibly Sammy Rogers) has a mega-viral post which becomes in the Top 20 most liked or shared posts on the app; putting him in a great situation to become an e-celebrity.  However, his follow ups aren’t as strong and the app wanes out within a few months.

Graviton goes on a lunar landing mission buying $50 worth of numerous obscure coins, all priced in the pennies.  When one of them, which he bought about 2500 for 2 cents each, goes parabolic, to just shy of $1000, he dumps before it crashes back to Earth.  Grav spends a long time deciding what to buy with his new net worth of over $1M, and even ends up taking a test drive in a Lamborghini, however he gives them the fake name “Noah Latour” so they don’t continue bombarding him with marketing calls.  When FluX makes a brief return to the elite forum in mid/late 2018, searches for Noah Latour discover him on various marketing lists for exotic vehicles.

The Australian Postal Corporation goes on strike for 2-3 months, during which time Jono grinds Goldeneye into the Top 10 and works on various creative projects.  He realizes that he can probably make a living being an online creator, and resents returning to work.  His co-workers further resent the fact that he only showed up to one single day of picketing before deeming it a waste of time.  Jono has serious reflections over the value of organized labour.

The U.S. media & government continue “soft disclosure” of extraterrestrial life and UFO visitation, and discussion of these events becomes so commonplace that normies forget it was ever considered “weird” to talk about; proving once again than a massive swath of the population is completely sheeplike.  At least one eliter or one of their friends (possibly a friend of Walrus?) has a very convincing and creepy close encounter of the second or third kind.

A certain “audiophile” who has records ranked on the elite gets charged with another “-phile” type of crime. He is unanimously removed from the rankings.

After an attempted overdose experience with DMT, peyote, LSD, marijuana and soylent, Narcissa speaks to God and is revived by social care workers 2-3 days later.  Narcissa claims that God directed him to de-transition back into CosmoWright.  Cosmo becomes a born again Christian, and the de-transition is natural and only takes weeks.  Not all is forgiven by the larger community, but Cosmo returns to viewership of 1800-3000 on average, and creates Zelda content on Youtube which gets at least 350k views, with some videos going over 1 million.  By the end of the year, people try to purge the memory of Narcissa from ever existing, and Cosmo gets a run accepted into AGDQ 2019.

Ryan Lockwood continues his path of self-improvement and gets the opportunity to train with Olympic rowers at his facility in Florida, further inspiring him to reach for greatness.  He ends up dating a legitimate 9 or 10/10 girl who is madly in love with him, and their selfies get posted regularly to the-elite Discord as a source of motivation for all looking to improve their lives.  On the strength of the relationship, he reaches over 500 days no-fap and appears on various podcasts about the subject.

Austin the Gamer repurchases a Goldeneye cartridge and plans on playing for Streets Agent 1:11, however he loses the cartridge in either a house fire, a tornado, a burglary or a vehicle theft.

Birdie uses his world class video editing skills and access to programs, props & other studio material to create exactly zero interesting videos for the elite community.  I write “wtf still can’t believe Birdie got Runway SA 0:22” at least 10 times in elite Discord throughout the year because each time I look at the rankings, it shocks me that much.

Troubleclef proposes to his girlfriend.  She says “yes!”  The post of their engagement gets over 300 likes on Facebook.

Alex Anderson announces his wife is expecting a child and gets the Bunker 2 00 Agent WR (possibly an untied) around the same time.

Glover has another very quiet year, however he does fit in one of his best trollposts of all time in an r/speedrun thread.

Jimbo buys a cryptocurrency for about $150 which immediately flatlines to a value of $0.  He yells about it a lot in Discord, where some sympathize and others go “it’s $150 dude…”  Jimbo responds “bah.”

Jimbo gets 0 WRs or PBs but conceives a child.  He turns to discord regularly to complain about how much money things for babies cost, but once birthed, he is elated and has a complete change of mentality when it comes to his frugality.

Flickerform is elevated by his local Friday Night Magic community to the position of a Magic the Gathering judge, however Unsleevedmedia’s loyal following uncovers some unflattering information about his past.

Irie continues his blistering rise up the rankings, however takes one too many dabs to make his effort fully efficient.  He doesn't quite make the Top 10, landing somewhere around 35th-20th by the end of 2018.  He also binge watches the entirety of Rick & Morty or another similar program.

Goldeneye WR holders who stream (Clem, Grav, Marc, etc) begin to see their viewers even surpass 100 regularly, thanks to Goose’s videos & lores, and Karl’s consistent streaming.  Everyone is shocked about how even with over 100 viewers, the viewers are generally well educated and understand how Goldeneye speedrunning works.  The elite is studied as an example of how to educate Twitch chat into knowing your game, and being supportive of your speedruns.  Many classic elite memes come to life through the many emote slots these streamers unlock.

Karl completes 40/40 Agent WRs between both games and reaches the Top 3 in Goldeneye.  Chicago 14 takes him a surprisingly short time, and he is credited with the Attack Ship Agent WR when 2:06 is removed after a Goose YouTube viewer detects irrefutable proof of video editing.  Karl begins to average over 200 viewers and has a very successful year.

Ace does not create the Dam Secret Agent tutorial, nor does he stream regularly or do much of quality content production at all.  However, as Karl gets too close, Ace streams with mic, for about 6-7 weeks, achieving 5 untieds, and roughly two or three dozen PBs total.  Ace’s untieds become the adored meme of r/speedrun, getting over 1000 upvotes.  Ace earns over $1000 in that timespan and becomes the hottest stream in 2018 speedrunning.  Everyone asks why he doesn’t stream more.  Ace doesn’t have a good answer.

Game of Thrones announces season 8 is delayed until 2019.  People are very upset by this.

Rebecca Black releases new music which gets heavily stanned and shilled on Twitter to the point the mainstream takes it seriously.  (It’s actually quite good and deserving anyways.)  Her lead single reaches #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 and several other countries, and becomes the song of the summer.

Hollywood completely fails in 2018, resulting in the cancellation of most wide release films planned.  Sammy Rogers’ business of classic VHS rental blooms as people are desperate to relive the good old days.  Some original VHS copies of movies like Titanic, Saving Private Ryan and Pulp Fiction become worth thousands of dollars, and people literally start trading their Bitcoin for them.  The business bubble bursts however when they are unprepared to deal with security measures needed in response to the ever inflating value of VHS tapes.  VCRs reappear on Amazon Prime and several eliters buy them as a backup recording method, and a method to get that “authentic” feel on their videos, however the actual blank VHS tapes become rare because of how many people are transferring classic movies onto blank VHS tapes in the underground movie black market.  Capture cards also see a rise in price for the same reason, and Goose admits that the speedrun anti-competitive lobby, who are vehemently against requiring captured quality speedrun videos, “has a legitimate gripe for now.” 

Mirrormage’s local football team plays against the women’s Singaporean national team. Surprisingly, he wins.

Dan Parker finds himself in the center of one of the year’s biggest stories, when his grocery store becomes ground zero for an invasive species or disease that made its way into the country via an improperly vetted shipment of bananas.  He is interrogated by the FDA (as well as the other employees) and gives them vital information needed to track the biohazard.  It turns out he actually snapchatted a picture of the fruit unknowingly before the problem broke out.  Dan has several months off work while the store is closed and during this time, he puts a controller in his niece’s hand, walking her through a Depot Agent speedrun, where she gets a stunning time of 1:52.

Qweczol successfully manages several campaigns for the 2018 mid-term elections, becoming one of the top young political operatives for the Republican party.

Izzy Szklarz gets a starring role in an Ed Sheeran music video (possibly End Game with Taylor Swift.)  Luke goes to visit (or possibly the filming takes place in Australia) and befriends some of Ed’s entourage who are working on a large jigsaw puzzle in Ed's tour bus.  He helps them out and hears that Ed is a big fan of jigsaw puzzles. 

Luke later has a pivotal role in designing some kind of massive Australian project (something for an event like a World’s Fair, Oceania 2030, or something of the like.)  The design *may* be something along the lines of a giant metal obelisk with diamond holes in it.

Luke also gets in early on a new Australian cryptocurrency with an eccentric Australian coin entrepreneur.  When the ICO is much higher than expected, Luke’s net worth soars into the millions.

Carathorn writes a song which makes the shortlist to represent Netherlands at Eurovision 2018.  Surprisingly, he wins.

Clemens finally brings Jess over from Indonesia to live with him permanently.

Twii officially joins Antifa or a similar organization, but leaves after only a few weeks after he gets conned into donating all his anime & Patreon money to the organization.  He keeps a tally of times he corrected someone’s misgendering crimes on Discord in 2018 - a tally which reaches 751 instances.

Alkamass shockingly starts to “get the picture” and in comparison to some more annoying newcomers, his interaction improves a lot with the community.  He’s still banned from Discord by the end of the year, but Ace makes a poll for “which annoying eliter has improved the most in 2018?”  Suprisingly, Alkamass wins.

Anubis and Setrack meet up in Brisbane, where it’s revealed that Setrack is actually 5’3.  They visit the Brisbane Forest Park and pictures of the pair go viral.

Cardinal Knut puts his memeing ability into full effort during AGDQ 2018 and becomes the king of memes.  However, he isn’t as active for the rest of the year.

AntVenom has a paradigm shift which causes him to tap into Tesla-like motivation for his Youtube channel and he surpasses 4 million subscribers.  He also *almost* gets Dam Agent 0:52 with a three boost 53.00.

Oceanside is a huge success which peaks at over 10,000 viewers and people get very excited for the next event.  Not everyone loves it though, as tons of anti-elitists and soy drinkers complain about its “exclusivity” on Twitter.  It becomes one of the most talked about Twitch events of the year.

Craig McGrath gets 2-3 more insane WRs, possibly Surface 1 SA 1:47,and possibly an untied.

Cheese05 gets a 1:38 in Super Mario 64 120 Star.  He also beats ZFG’s OoT 100% WR and is crowned “the best speedrunner of all time.” ZFG gets the WR back within a few days though.

TimTamz gets Silo Agent 1:01 and his excited reaction makes a GladJonas video.

Bryan Bosshardt achieves two untied WRs in Goldeneye.

Marc Rutzou gets into an argument on stream with his wife about not doing the dishes.  The argument becomes a top post on r/livestreamfail and is referenced in memery all year long.

Wodahs reflects on what he has become when he is tasked with writing a script that demonitizes tens of thousands of Youtube videos, all of which seem to be advertiser friendly, largely taking income away from third world creators in Venezuela and other poverty stricken nations.  He considers leaving Google and returning to Goldeneye.

Jimmy Bauer is not seen or heard from in 2018.  Unfortunately he is not listed in the “List of people who disappeared mysteriously” Wikipedia article, making his whereabouts even more mysterious.
« Last Edit: January 02, 2018, 03:25:56 pm by The man who trolled and lost everything »
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Huzi

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Re: The 2018 Predictions Thread
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2018, 10:40:58 pm »
Jimbo buys a cryptocurrency for about $150 which immediately flatlines to a value of $0.  He yells about it a lot in Discord, where some sympathize and others go “it’s $150 dude…”  Jimbo responds “bah.”

LOOOOOOOOOL

mw

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Re: The 2018 Predictions Thread
« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2018, 02:12:53 am »
Through careful study of my yet-to-be-released def 5 tutorial (a video only he bothered to watch all the way through), Alkamaass becomes the tenth person to achieve the time. By the end of the year, the time is a four liner, and the list of new people to achieve it includes Cheese05. It does not include Boss, Ace, nor anyone of actual relevance in the Elite.
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Tinosaurus

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Re: The 2018 Predictions Thread
« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2018, 05:54:25 am »
Marc Rutzou gets into an argument on stream with his wife about not doing the dishes.  The argument becomes a top post on r/livestreamfail and is referenced in memery all year long.

i might have exhaled trough my nose louder than usual

Carathorn

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Re: The 2018 Predictions Thread
« Reply #7 on: January 02, 2018, 01:51:34 pm »
Jimbo buys a cryptocurrency for about $150 which immediately flatlines to a value of $0.  He yells about it a lot in Discord, where some sympathize and others go “it’s $150 dude…”  Jimbo responds “bah.”

LOOOOOOOOOL

Yeah I bursted out laughing at this as well somehow. Amazing post man

Lark

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Re: The 2018 Predictions Thread
« Reply #8 on: January 02, 2018, 02:21:19 pm »
Surface 2 Agent 46, Dam 00 154 and Bunker 1 16 are all achieved.

Clemens suffers a pinched nerve after an overzealous arm day workout. He misses 1 month.

Dsx gets a girlfriend

Decipheration returns and makes at least one topic on the boards referencing how the lore vids have helped spread degeneracy/irresponsibility and cites the lack of realistic long-term goals amongst eliters. The wall of text rant is peppered with "low IQ" and "uneducated". Being the master troll he is, his topic elicits 30+ responses.

Karl is caught watching Foxy Di porn at work and loses his job. He takes advantage by finally becoming a full-time youtube personality and motivator.

Depot 39 remains untied.

Lockwood decides to exclusively type Swedish in Discord in order to accelerate his progress. This results in his English language skills taking a hit. Various eliters help him relearn it resulting in many comedic moments.

Ace announces that due to US visa problems and financial difficulties he will be unable to attend AGDQ 2019 further prolonging his much anticipated arrival to the states.

Illu makes an effort here and there, but is still unemployed by the end of 2018. However, he fixes his capture card woes and gets a few GE/PD times.

Egypt Agent 44 does not happen.

Mirrormage calls even more people after Karl gets b1 agent 16. The enormous amount of calls he makes draws the attention of his parents who take note of the high phone bill. They subsequently ask him why he is calling random people all over the world. This results in a brief moment of awkwardness and bewilderment as he explains.

Greg Woll becomes a father.

There will be at least one major summer contest upset which prompts people to question the legitimacy of the results again. A 3:30 A.M. discord diarrhea match ensues while various eliters are accused of ruining the elite. Poor Twii gets blamed despite not even being present.

Someone other than Ace finally takes the initiative and makes a Dam SA tut, ending the stale meme once and for all.

Typing "Did you hear the news", "Are you using the trick?" and "Luke," become bannable offenses in discord due to their overuse and redundancy.

At least one cheater is discovered on the GE rankings and is removed.

Austin threatens suicide once it is discovered that the National Weather Center has reneged on the their offer to pay a percentage of his student loans.

Jimbo unfortunately is bopped out of top 10 and complains about it all year long in discord, causing widespread annoyance, which causes Spagooda to temporarily ban him. He spends the majority of time focusing on his future wedding and other generate activities.






« Last Edit: January 02, 2018, 02:44:11 pm by Lark »
Embrace the grind.

Huzi

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Re: The 2018 Predictions Thread
« Reply #9 on: January 02, 2018, 06:43:34 pm »
Return of the-elite.net homepage

Decipheration unveils the elite mansion

Dam SA Tut

2018: A GoldenEye Odyssey

Alkamaass is unbanned from Discord

Gus unhoard

Dethroning of Alec M.

Boss streams

Player Of The Month returns

The death of Runway 23

Wouter returns to GoldenEye

Someone deletes their whole times page (videos) causing the-elite to start hosting videos

Sterling Neblett returns to GoldenEye

Selenium Webdriver

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Re: The 2018 Predictions Thread
« Reply #10 on: January 04, 2018, 10:31:06 am »
Hce's Preds (TM)

1. [INTJ PRED] Vitor, Ace, Wouter, Ragequit & Spagooda (VAWRS) team up to work on a rankings API project - although Eliza initially refuses to give access to the database, Ace finally convinces him to. Ragequit wants to use Node.js with Express for the project, while Wouter remains a stickler for C#. This leads to an argument between the two, which is even more contentious than a grav/Ace one has ever been before, making Wouter leave the Elite Discord server. Halfway down the project, everyone gets busy (ragequit gets promoted to lead developer at work because of his exceptional skills, Spagooda shifts to a web developer position at work, Ace claims he is busy making the Dam SA tutorial and vitor refuses to work alone), so the project is called off.

2. Karl Jobst makes a comeback to GoldenEye, grinding 80% of the levels this year and finding small timesavers on at least half of them. His biggest discovery is a second timesaver on each difficulty of the level, causing a new untied sweep to happen and Grav to remind the Elite how 1:10:59 happening is unquestionable. Karl peaks at 5th place in July, before getting burnt out from playing GE.

3. grav (Ryan Gibb) achieves Surface 2 Agent 0:46 after a tepid, 25-hour grind. He then makes his forays into the non R-lean levels, where not long after achieving a relevant time on Bunker 1 00 Agent he ties the WR. He discovers a consistent groundbreaking trick to get Boris to run inside the MF room 90% of the time, and races Karl to 1:01. After Karl gets a couple of missed warp 1:02s, grav nails 1:00 on the 'god run'. A shocking reaction generates his second article on Kotaku.

4. Jezz 'accidentally' impregnates a girl - a childhood sweetheart, but nevertheless they decide to keep the baby who is given the nick 'Little Jezzo'.  He struggles to afford babycare, but luckily pulls a Darren. He later lands a job as a painter, a job he is content with because it pays well with a reasonably low workload. He occasionally posts in the Elite Discord hinting at a comeback, but this is all talk and no action.

5. Knut resumes his Paper Mario playthrough in April after his wageslavery ends. Just after completing the first chapter, however, he reminds Ace - who promised to stream in April - that if he doesn't keep his promise the Knut Paper Mario Playthrough (KPMP) will abruptly end. Ace reluctantly caves into this demand and streams a series of Facility Agent runs. It is later discovered by OHMSS that Ace was streaming prerecorded runs from 2013. Ace admits this and once again loses the respect of several Eliters. He palavers about "grad school applications make me busy man" and other excuses making him do this, but the entire Elite has had enough - to the extent that Spagooda adds a feature to TheEliteBotNet that bans Ace from posting to the Elite Discord for 1 week if he posts certain phrases ("I will stream at x", "working on the Dam SA tut be patient", etc). Ace calls this injustice and makes a poll in General Chat regarding abuse of power, but to his surprise all the votes are against him. He still isn't capable of understanding how ridiculous he has become and leaves the Discord, but returns after a day.

ceebs to finish this post

TheFlash

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Re: The 2018 Predictions Thread
« Reply #11 on: January 15, 2018, 01:37:42 am »
QB gets lost at the Olympics and misses an entire day of short track speed skating

Cyber shows up and posts 2 times in random topics proving he's been lurking all along

Jimbo celebrates a number on his bank statement by spending 20% of it on switching his car for a shiny pickup after spending 2 years saying he would, then would not do it. Later on it turns out he was lying about everything and just had to say it to see what it felt like and how people reacted. Several of his Facebook friends are openly upset after finding out it was a joke.

Ngamer makes a comeback in the elite as a participant rather than organizer of many fun events

Alecboy finally starts posting a bit as he's quite comfy out in Oklahoma and considers starting another novel

Infil uses his new microphone to start making more video game analysis videos. Some of his videos gain a large number of views and many thumbs up

Stinson has an awesome year that he'll tell everyone about next year

DK plays in another video game marathon on some game I've never heard of

PYL starts a new topic on the forums about board games and it reaches 100 posts as everyone realizes how fun they are

Maybe I will make more later but I'm hungry now.

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Re: The 2018 Predictions Thread
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2018, 03:48:11 pm »
Chuck Schumer shuts down the US Government and all non-essential workers & contractors have several weeks off work.  This leads Deel into a downward spiral of degeneracy where all he does is play Goldeneye 10-15 hours/day and hang out with his gf.  He rises to 15th place with numerous improved PBs and WRs, and could make a push for the Top 10, but gets distracted by playing Frigate 00 Agent, including a three day weekend where he plays over 45 hours total.  He gets no completions under 1:10 pace.  He nearly requires medical assistance but finally, Chuck Schumer relents on DACA and Deel goes back to work, never playing Goldeneye again in 2018.
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Re: The 2018 Predictions Thread
« Reply #13 on: October 08, 2018, 11:51:38 pm »
A new popular app comes out, along the lines of a Snapchat, Instagram or Telegram (this might end up being V2 actually), and the-elite gets involved.  Early on, one eliter (possibly Sammy Rogers) has a mega-viral post which becomes in the Top 20 most liked or shared posts on the app; putting him in a great situation to become an e-celebrity.  However, his follow ups aren’t as strong and the app wanes out within a few months.

It's quite clear the APP predicted in this post is the now notorious "TikTok".  Will we see an eliter, possibly Sammy Rogers, score a VIRAL post on this app?

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ss.android.ugc.trill&hl=en_CA
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Re: The 2018 Predictions Thread
« Reply #14 on: October 11, 2018, 02:32:24 am »
Just a little less than three months until the 2019 predictions thread! I would recommend preparing your predictions from now. A GOOD set of predictions takes at least 2 months to write.