Life, and why it's so messed up.

[RWG]

Let me rant:

So.  I can't choose what to do with my @#%$ life right now.  There's so much @#%$ pressure on me to succeed at school, work, socially, and at GE.  I just can't choose.  I know what I want, and that's to play GE, as sad, or unsad as it is.  I come home everyday, and instead of opening my books, signing on to eBay, or heading out, I get locked, willingly or not to GE.


Its not that I don't want to play GE, since I often do.  But there are times when I go, wtf am I doing, and why the hell am I spending so much time on something significant to so few people.  If I put the 5-6 hours/day I've spent on GE for the past 9 months, into school, or work, or a social life, it is inevitable that I would have, could have, or even should have succeded in those aspects of life.


So basically, my past 2 weeks, I've been deciding which path I should take.  However, I can only find refuge playing GE for hours at a time, not realize what I could be doing, or what others think I should be doing.  I've had enough of @#%$ deciding, but I'm so @#%$ indecisive, I have no @#%$ clue what to choose.


Basically, at school, my grades have plummeted through the @#%$ floor by about 15% this past year.  I've completely stopped selling ANYTHING on eBay, eventhough starting in 3 weeks, I'll be needing $75 every 2 weeks for golf and go-karting.  Furthermore, outside of extracurriculars I am involved in, I don't remember leaving my house more than once a month for the past 9 months just to go hang out with friends, provided I have any.


Well, people like me, and I could easily go hang out with them.  Just these people are @#%$ retards and do dumb @#%$ when you're out with them.  I hate these people, and they don't realize it, so its just all @#%$ up in the end.  It basically makes me hate everyone in general, and not want to go out at all.  Pretty much everyone is a retard, and they all suck, and theres no way to find a good friend out there, even if such a thing exists.  I know it is frowned upon by society in general to not go out, but I really dont want to at all.  This would be at the bottom of my list of the 4 paths to choose from.


School and work are pretty much the same.  I could work all day.  Go to school, come home, do homework, sell crap on eBay, make money.  I could live this circle, just as I do with GE right now.  I could easily replace the time I play GE, with school work, and making money.  I could easily make a lot of money, and do well at school, if I just stopped playing GE, and replaced it with work.  Then again, this isnt being much less of a loser than I am now, and theres still no time left to go out, or play GE, or do whatever the @#%$ I want to do.

So basically, there are 4 paths before me, and I have no idea which one I want to take, or should take.  I know which ones make sense to take, and I guess those are the ones I should take, but I am so damn confused right now I cant tell the @#%$ difference.  There is no way I can take all 4 paths, which is the only way to make everyone, including myself, happy.  I can take 2, maybe 3.  If I want to make others happy, I should take school, work, and a social life.  If I want to continue to make myself happy, I just screw all, and keep playing GE.  I know its not right, I know it wont get me anywhere, but thats what I can do.


Well, I guess I can make excuses, and say @#%$ YOU ELITE but its not your fault.  I can only blame myself for getting into this unescapable circle.  I dont know how to get out, or if I ever will.  I guess Im really only posting this simply because I need help.  Thats all.  Help if you can.

[Ngamer]

Touring Europe one month, go-karting and golfing with friends the next, cracking the Top Ten of Goldeneye and making money hand over fist on Ebay inbetween?

Still an 8/10 on the Great Life-o-Meter, MJ.

[RWG]

Who said I toured Europe and will go-kart/golf with friends?

[reTylersis]

You'll look back on your life now in a year or two (or however long it takes for you to ________) and laugh at it.  Trust me.

So cheer up, emo kid.

[Darren870]

Throw GE against the floor as hard as you can. This is just really sad, go out and get some p.ussy

[Wyst3r]

The only advice i can give would be that you should try not to make GE a priority, cause if you keep sitting inside all day playing GE, it's sooner or later gonna kill you.

[Jimbo]

I look back at 2003 (the year where every day pretty much consisted of 4 hours of GE) and wonder what the hell was wrong with me. Do I regret it? No, it's something that makes me a part of the elite, almost a family thing.

[Troublesome Moral Code]

FOUR HOURS A DAY!?  WHAT A PIDDLY AMOUNT

[Laercio-Rodolfo]

I think you're young to concern about work  

Then, go to school boy. Study, make friends (boys/girls). School is like a social life  
And play GE when you have time. Good luck with everything you want to do!

Go Goose    

[Wouter Jansen]

I think my max was about 6.. my avg about 2-3 hours or so

obviously, GE is the way to go.

getting @#%$ won't change much.. once you get a gf or something you'll get addicted to that.. and eventually it will be like a second nature and less enjoyable, you'll be doing it because you're used to it. I'm not talking from experience.. altho I played a lot of GE, and addictions are still that, addictions.

screw everyone else, life is about yourself, your own life, why live to be like others. there's plenty the same kind of people and I'm glad I'm not as simple as the general population. I do things my way and if it kills me.. you know, there's still noone that didn't die eventually.

if you choose your own path, of course you can't blame someone else for going the wrong path, but you can't blame someone else for screwing up some insane untied wr paced run either. if you just think about it, you can relate it all and it won't matter.

I were once addicted to making lengthy posts. if you enjoy reading them, then my addiction wasn't for nothing. if there are people that enjoy watching your creations coming forth from playing GE, then your addiction isn't for nothing.
I can't stand being together with a group of people, I prefer  having just 1 good friend. I can't imagine any group of people beating the presence of my best friend being around. what the goose does it matter if you do something that is not 'frowned upon' by only a few people, or if you enjoy everyone in the whole world. you could never succeed trying to do the latter anyway.

[Illu]

I was about to write something but I just couldn't, so if I had a choice, damn I don't and I do have a choice, I have a choice to some degree but if I really had a choice then I'd just choose eternal happiness to everyone but damn yeah actually I choose eternal happiness to everyone, did it work?

EDIT: @#%$ I have no control of my life so I guess I shouldn't have any regrets either because it's poinless and I might as well choose to be happy but can I? aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!

klater

[GuitarFailKid]

I was glad I was banned..... Otherwise i'd still be here to this day playing hardcore and being #1 at PD.

How cool is that! thanks zeebo! u virgin

[RWG]

Wouter's post is the best right now for me.  I don't really even want to get laid, or get a gf, or even have friends.  For me, a social life is right now on the bottom of my list of those 4 paths.

This leaves 3 choices.  The problem is, right now I can hardly balance 2 things.  I know it's possible to play GE, do schoolwork, and work, but I can hardly handle GE and school right now.

It might not even be so much GE, as it is the elite.  Sometimes I feel like doing homework, get inspired to sell something on eBay, but I turn on my computer and I automatically head here.  End up talking to people I don't even know, spamming, or just somehow managing not to do what I intended.

I don't know where I was trying to lead this to, so I guess I'll leave it at this.  Right now, I want to play GE.  It's Friday, I'm not going out, I have the house to myself, and under all normal circumstances, I'd be starting a 4 hour session.  But I feel it's wrong to do this right now.  Like I should be doing schoolwork, selling something, or even going out.  I feel like I should put the elite aside for a few days, to see what else I would do.

As you know reading this post, I obviously can't put the elite aside right now.

[007-Emile]

Sounds pretty @#%$ up Goose,
I was addicted to GE for a 1.5 year or so as well, including the great pauses of 2-5 months.

Still..... in the summer-holidays 2004 I think, I was too addicted, but yet I only played in the afternoon, and sometimes deep in the night. I didnt really enjoy the 13:00-19:00 time of the day, I got up at 13.00 and was far too lazy to do anything in the warm afternoon. Then at night I just spended time with friends, girlfriend etc.
The education I followed is from a pretty big level, and I yet manage to make it very cakish.
Just set some up some values and norms for yourself. WHICH U KINDA MUST!
Where I go to school its basically one midterm a week and there are 4 weeks where u get like 10 midterms a week, and u get the entire day to study. In these weeks I JUST HAD NOT TOUCHED THE N64,... whenever I did, I still continued for a PR for several hours. So I learned from that experience, and just banned the N64 out of my life that week, which was hard, but managable.
Work, no problem with that... like I said, afternoons were boring IMO, so I worked in those afternoons.
So that takes care of money and school.
Just force yourself to some groundrules.

If u dislike humanity this much, then @#%$ them, if ur happy on ur own, with the lifestyle u have, so be it. But FFS u need to afford your food when u are older, u really shouldnt throw away education or a job so easily, just by playing GE.

Im done with N64 now, I have 1.5 month to go till I graduate, have the same girlfriend for over 1.5 years now, lots of friends, play high level basketball, yet I still play Warcraft III The Frozen Throne like a madman some days, when I just have the need for some gaming, but @#%$ Im really not embarassed I hardcored GE a year in my life. It made me happy, and thats important!
Like Wouter said, what other people think, just @#%$ it! It's your life, just dont let this thing take over your entire life. Dont let if @#%$ up your future, it can be hard sometimes to let it go, just like any drug , but really, u kinda must.
After a while, u'll feel fine as u are!

Greetz,
Emile

[Djie]

You should come over during the playoffs
That'll do you good, we'll play GE if you want, even if I hate it  I'll try not to be a retard like everyone else (since you think everyone are retards...)

[wishiwasfamous]

You won't get any extra credit if you tell your teacher you're 1337 at GE.

You won't get a raise if your boss (in the future) knows you play GE

Your friends might think it's cool or tool to play GE

GE doesn't care, it's a program.

Education is the way to go, honestly. Yes, you can still play GE, but seriously, you need to cut down. It sounds like that's all you do. Education gets you forward in life, GE really doesn't, unless you can advertise and be like Fatal1ty.

Perhaps... join the Army?

help made: 0%

[Bizichyld]

Um, if you think there is a correlation between your lower grades and GE playing, you should definitely cut down on GE a bit. Try to invest your time in something that gives you something to show for the work you put in. For most people, game playing gives a lousy return on your time, especially since some other guy is always waiting to overtake you. I'm not sure why I eventually quit playing, but before I did, I was able to maintain above average grades (although I never rose to further than 25th or so in PD). You should treat your education in all-or-nothing terms because it takes a lot of scholatic affort to earn a respectable job, even with a 4-year (or 6-8 for that matter) degree. If school's not your bag, get a job, well, anywhere and work your way up. At least then you will have a nice stack of cash instead of sore thumbs. Either way, life rewards hard work and responsibility.

If neither of those options appeals to you, do some volunteer work for an organization that interests you. I always thought volunteering would be a waste of time until I was all but forced to volunteer in college. It gives you the opportunity to meet interesting people and learn valuable skills, it looks good on applications and resumes and it sounds better to people than "I sat around and played video games all day."

FYI, I go through a similar crisis about once a year or so. I'm almost 24 and I still have little idea what I want out of life. Above all else try to learn and do as much as possible because your experiences can never be taken away.
 

[Infected Mind]

Educations over rated.  


just win the lottery instead

[Wouter Jansen]

as if playing GE isn't hard work.

[RWG]

Well, stuff was kind of ok for a while, and then it got suck again.

Not like I'm trying to sound like an emo fag, but I know I am, and like, stuff is just sucking harcore.

Like, I have no initative to do anything.  Whether its school, work or even GE now.

Two guys I might consider "friends" got gfs this week, and now really, at school, the place I get my only social interaction, I have no good friends.  I go out and eat lunch alone, and I don't really care because like I say, people suck.

So basically, I don't know why I'm posting this.  Maybe to help myself realize this is what it is.  You don't really have to reply if you don't want to, since I know you'll just say "go to school, get friends, screw GE" so I guess to only reason I post this is to help myself come to realization with my reality.

Thanks.

[Infected Mind]

emo ftl

[Illu]

I haven't had a job for almost two years now, I only worked for 6 months before that anyway, I can't seem to find anything out there. I play GE I take a walk, think think think and think some more then I eat and then I play GE. Most I haven't been interested in being with other people really, only thing bugging me has been that I've wanted to have an GF. That has seemed like an impossiblity in the past two years though, so dunno, wtf I write too apparently on these boards and yeah dunno that's it.

[RWG]

I think another @#%$ up problem is that I need a gf.  I could get one pretty easily, since I always have girls liking me for whatever reason, but I just don't want to.

[Saint Shang]

Well it`s good, and yet not so good that i see others going through the same as me. Jobs in my jobcentre require me to have GSCE`s, a driving license, have experience in a variety of things, all which i don`t have. Yet im determined not to work in some trash factory for years at a time, so basically there`s no jobs to be had. Made worse by the fact my parents have moved to a crap hillbilly place where there`s no shops or anything. The buses run like 1 every hour i think. I dont have any friends, due to me never going out. It doesn`t bother me mind. No gf either, again no desire to have one. All in all, the main root of my problem i feel is that im lazy. And due to my laziness, i can`t get motivated at the same time as wanting to kick back and do bog all. So how to get motivated? I ask myself these questions, what`s the thing that drives you the most? What do you want to do in life? If you could do it today what would you do? Like Andy Dufresne said in The Shawshank Redemption, "get busy living, or get busy dying." Do you want to be 50-60 years old and look back and say, "i wish i did this..."

[RWG]

argh, I want to live in a "hillbilly" place damnit

big cities suck balls if you have no friends.

[Saint Shang]

I look out my bedroom window and ive got a view of fields and the lights of the towns below (i live on high ground), but id prefer to look out and see traffic whizzing by. Its a homely feel i think. Like if i watch a film set in the future or the past, afterwards i get an urge to watch a film where i can see things that im familiar with, cars for example. It`s weird to explain but then i was meant to be born in 1982 not 1682, or indeed 2182.

[wishiwasfamous]

Goose,
Graduate High School, get accepted to CSU. Move into an apartment your second year, you'll be living the hillbilly life in no time!

[ChodhE]

take a hammer and smash your cartridge and/or you n64, that should solve it.

[ChodhE]

oh, and if you can't make any friends in big cities.. well... hmm.. yeah...

[RWG]

no one likes me here because I'm a redneck, I read the bible, wear socks and sandals, watch NASCAR, and own 3 guns.

>_>

[ChodhE]

I'm posting

[Wouter Jansen]

aren't there more than 3 guns in GE?

[Bizichyld]

"no one likes me here because I'm a redneck, I read the bible, wear socks and sandals, watch NASCAR, and own 3 guns."

There's still hope for you...unless you listen to Toby Keith. That's the point of no return.