Okay... I have no idea what the hell has been wrong with me lately. I try to play GE and look what happens... @#%$ gets @#%$ up in my head anawroithewregl;erjgxdFJNCGFhnkdrHD fng nSRDGFMSAASCASFSUFCKUFOGNGsd cvoh fickginv hell see, That's what heappend@! I can't go on. I can't playh this fuckiing game anymore I HAVE TO FUCKIGN STOP
okay
really
I have to stop acting like this but I CANT"1 what the hell, I should have never gone for 156. Why did I ever go for that @#%$ time? It's cursed, I teell you! CURSED@!@ But, the first time I try was on SA. Took me 8 hours, not so bad. Everyone says 00 is so much easier. So I go on playing 00, and I think, this will be so easy. But then 8 hours go by, 10 hours, 12, 15, 20, 25, 30, thrityfuckingseven hours later, I've been driven absolutely INSANE by the lack of..... I don't even know. Maybe I just suck at GE and should stop playing forever. I've felt this way so many times before... but I've never gone off the deep end like I did in January and am doing again now. Maybe it's because the rest of my life has been so shitty, maybe that's what's driving me over the edge. At least back before college, the rest of my life wasn't so fuckinig shitty, back then I was looking forward to college, and that was pretty much the only thing that kept me going. But now, I'm in college and it was an enormous disappointment... everything has gotten so much worse since now, and I don't have anything to look forward to. I'm afraid of the future.. what will happen to me?
Q#3qt3q3
FUCKFCKSDpgjodshxt'jfcy;tt purhje#!!!! I dont' want all this fuckign fresponsibiigtlytq!!##!@ I dong't wan t to get a job, people havfe dy4w4Y W$ W$Y4w $YW 4ywy 4wonesr nothigngse good sefor WMRWR#WRMWRETew@Q@#Q@$Q#@%3 m5235 3oi6tv34yh;li elyis hv63j y4v W$OY^SO$H O^AY H^VYH$# H Y^$ HWYOH Y:dghsfd ghdxkrwkelytei46ytwio4u6yt46;iopfumty ogm ogmhgodgmogdomgom @#%$ THSIO @#%$%,... I wnat to diiiiihsdigseselhglkslkgnhlghweioghioushdiuglwhe4tke4gsn.,n.,ree....dB<<G<<N<M<JDrtkwu48tyery herlrdghdflhdfjbijxjivicjio
Most days I just want to die... but is THAT even good? I don't know what happens after you die, nobody does. And I'll probably never get laid since I don't talk to anyone ever for any reason EVER. But .... .. .... oh @#%$, I'm afraid of girls too. I'm afraid of everyhintg. and I blame my parents for doing @#%$ everything for me and never letting me have responsibilities and treating me like a fkcing child for so long, now my life is completely @#%$@@#@#@@#@ thatnks a lot youFUCKGJN ASSHOLEMOTHERFUCINGSHITFUCKEDRS tehy just made all my choices for me, now I can't do @#%$ about anythign. and NOW thaey @#%$ yell at me because I'jm that way. they don't realize they FUCKIGN MADE ME THAT WATY FUCKFUVCKFUJFSDOD:lfkztxrglxrglkkt;l'rditr5
j
tr
jn
tfjnfjcnfjgnxdhnjdgijshrydlcu;chtfhklgdylrxhyou5v yd4ueh5iouohegp5upord
,,,.
I am so fuckiing emo. @#%$, no@! NO!N!ON!ONO!NO!N!ON!ON!NONO!! I AM NOT @#%$ EMO, I REALLY AM @#%$ DEPRESSED. I FUICKIMG HAET FUCKIGNM E<MO FUCKTARDS BECUASE THEY RUIN THINGS FO REPEOPL WHO ARE ACTUALLY DEPRESSD. FUCFUCUUUUUUCUUCUCKKKCKTE@!@$@$@!$$@!!@$$%@#52532
I don't know why I keep going, with GE or life, or anything, really. I'm just sitting on my ass doing nothing of any importance to anybody or anything and hoping that things will magically get better. Mayve I'll pull a Harvey and throw my GE cart in a @#%$ lake. But I don't know where the lakes are around here, but I have three rivers to choose from. Myabe one day, I'll just go down to the river and throw my @#%$ cart in. Then I'd possibly start playing PD, but that isn't so bad since there's not as mich pressure to be so good. Yeah, that's it, too many expectations. I've always been good at everyhintg, more or less. I was a @#%$ genius, academically and musically. And now I'm wasting BOTH. I've been reduced to a quivering mass oif SAND? I'm nothing now. Nothing. I'm wasting by brain, my musical talent, my life, and nothing iis going ot get better, ever, at least that's what it feel slik,e.mm @#%$ what the @#%$ happendd@!
werlhlgtelixtykl rxdkhlrSRHrhkfdh{{{{
I can't even form WORDS anytmore. Havne't I done enough to myself? Maybe I'll start drinking or doing drugs or something. It wouldn't help me at all, but nothing is really. No wait, drugs are too expensive. @#%$ that. But if I @#%$ up my life this much, shouldn't I just go all the way? Right now, I'm just a @#%$-up. I'm not even proficient at @#%$ up. So maybe I should take this ability and @#%$ run with it/. but I dunno, all I'm really doing about anything is listening to sad music and crying myself to seleep, but.... FSUDKC I DON:T KJNOW@@@@@!!@!!#@%#!@
ordthtrldk6ne;t5trljhdbm,b,gb.n.f.gnf
So, in conclusion, 1:56 is a shitty time and I will never get it.
